1. The Foodies

christmas food. December.
For these ones, watching a movie at the cinema is never complete without some food to go with it. And this is not just the regular popcorn, shawarma/hotdog with soda kind of food. I’m talking Shoprite spaghetti/seafood paella with fried chicken. There are even those that will go traditional with a bowl of amala and gbegiri to enjoy their movie. Yes. You read that right. Amala and its trusted sidekick, gbegiri.

2. The Inquisitioners

These ones can ask so many questions during the course of the movie that you’ll start to wonder if you’re in the cinema or in the examination hall writing JAMB. From the beginning of the movie, they’ll want to know who Dreamworks is and why there is a boy sitting on the moon. “Aunty, watch and find out na”.

3. The Ones Who Come With Spoilers

Also known as the ITKs, these ones will be feeling like they joined to act the movie. They’re constantly dropping hints on various scenes in the movie and can very well ruin the surprise for you – especially if the surprise was all that you were looking forward to. They’ll be forming, “I know what happens”. Uncle, who asked you?

4. The Scream Queens

These ones just like to shout. Whether it’s a horror movie, action movie or romantic comedy, their mouths are perpetually open and screaming, “Ooh! Ahh! Aww! Eeww!” Any sound that can be made will be made by them. There is no such thing like a quiet cinema when they are around.

5. The Commentators

They are almost like the ones that give spoilers except they don’t know anything about the movie so they just comment on everything that is happening like the entire cinema can’t see it for themselves. They’ll be shouting, “You see, you see, he’ll kiss her now”. Err…oga, we know.

6. The Ones Who Wait For Post Credit Scenes

These are the ones that know whazzup. They did not come to the cinema to play. They are the real movie buffs that know to wait after the movie looks like it has finished because they know that the best part is always saved for last. As per, bottom pot na im sweet pass.

7. The Ones Who Don’t Wait For The Post Credit Scenes

These ones are just learners. If by 2017 you haven’t learned to wait for post credit scenes after a movie, you definitely know nothing. Or you don’t care. Either way, these ones who walk out immediately after the movie are either JJCs (Johnny Just Come) or IJDWF ( I Just Dey Watch Feem), and they’re all missing out on something special.

8. The Ones Who Just Come To Canoodle

For these set of cinema goers, it’s not about the movie or the post credit scene, they just came to find a place to conduct their funny business. Maybe it’s the dark ambiance of the cinema, the soft chairs or the fact that they feel nobody can hear or see them. Whatever the case, coming to the cinema for these ones is about more than screaming at the screen. They usually prefer sitting in the corners to avoid being spotted, but we all know what they’re doing in the dark.
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Now here’s a complete list of all the stressful things that involve going to the cinema:



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