7 Nigerians Share Their Worst Date Stories

November 5, 2016

1. ‘The car broke down on the way’.

“I went to go pick her up at home and the car broke down on the way to the movies.  I couldn’t cry! I sha called a cab while I chilled for the mechanic. Scheduled another date, but there was a noticeable change. She zoned me. The vibe was a subtle “you are looking for gehfren” when your jalopy is need of change”.  -Collins

2. “He was showing off”

This guy showed me his account balance. He was a semi-professional footballer and sha wanted to show me he was a big boy. I said “I’m happy for you” and asked for the rest of my food to go and then left“. -Abike

3. “We got arrested”

We were in this yellow taxi when some oversabi policemen pulled us over. The wahala started when they caught her filming them on her camera phone. They took us to the station o! They even took us to the place they kept armed robbers. My people came to bail us sha. -Ikemefuna John

4. “I was the third wheel on the date”

“He came to pick me with his friend, and I had to sit at the back. When we got to the cinema, he sat in the middle and he kept talking to his friend throughout, I was basically the third wheel”.  -Anike

5. “My tummy disrespected me”.

“I had diarrhea and had to use the restroom several times. It was so embarrassing“. -Grace

6. “Fuel finished in his car”

When he came to pick me, he parked his car in front of my hostel. The car refused to start o, and that’s how we caused traffic in front of the hostel. He now ‘realised there wasn’t petrol in his car and we had to buy petrol inside nylon.”  -Imani

7. He wanted me to come and ‘relax’ in his hotel room.

It was my matriculation so I decided to go on a date with this guy that had been disturbing me. He brought his two friends (one of them was called Jendor) and another girl. As if that wasn’t annoying enough, after eating what was basically Agege bread and hot dog, he asked me and the other girl to come and relax with his friends. Relax, abi rape fest? I just carried my load and went back to my hostel“. -Lara

Everyone has had a horrible date experience. Share yours in the comments section.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

October 1, 2022

“I can’t tell you how much I miss Lagos conductors.” When Tega got into Harvard in March, she didn’t anticipate how much of her life was bout to change. Now, it’s been a week since she moved to Cambridge and she shares how it feels navigating a new city with no family or friends.

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

December 29, 2021

A new year is right around the corner. Before we go into 2022, enjoy some of our top quizzes from this year. 1. QUIZ: Only Nigerian Gen Z’ers Can Make It To The End Of This Musicians Quiz Forget about your age. If you can make it to the end of this quiz, you’re definitely […]

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

More from Oldies

May 27, 2021

Children’s day, a day set apart for kids. Like they don’t win at life already? You’re not paying bills or rent and you have a day to celebrate yourself? Get me their manager, please. On days like this, we can’t help but remember how good we used to have it so we wrote this article […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X