16 Things Everyone Who Just Started A New Job Can Relate To

Etisalat Nigeria
April 26, 2017

1. When you get that “we are pleased to offer you” mail.

Thank you Jesus! All my enemies that said I will not find work during recession have been put to shame!

2. You calculating how your new salary will change your life:

3. You on the first day of the new job:

I gotta make a good first impression.

4. You burst into the office like:

Hey! Hey! Hey!  Guess who’s here!!

5. And everyone looks at you like:

Yes? Can we help you?

6. How it feels when your boss introduces you to your colleagues:

7. How your colleagues are really looking at you:

What’s this one feeling like now?

8. You trying to make friends:

9. When you’re in the office meeting but you have no idea what they’re saying:

Are you people even speaking English?

10. You trying to understand the inside jokes:

Why are they laughing? Is it me? Should I be laughing too?

11. When your boss finishes explaining your assignment for the day and asks, “do you have any questions?”

No…nope…nada…zilch…

12. But on the inside you’re really like:

13. When your colleagues give you a nickname because they can’t remember your name:

14. How you feel at the end of the day:

I just want to go home and cry.

15. When your boss asks you if you’re enjoying your work so far:

So that you will now fire me abi?

16. When you get home and they ask you how your first day at work was:

Please, please, just leave me abeg.

And now, here’s a post for all of you who like to do play play anyhow at work.

https://zikoko.com/general/if-your-office-is-full-of-playful-people-this-is-for-you/ What other crazy things did you experience when you first started your job?
Sponsored by
Etisalat Nigeria

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

September 3, 2020

The ex-depot price of Premium Motor Spirit (PMS) or Petroleum is now N151.56 per litre. Of course, you won’t find this dark news on the PPMC’s website (except you go on the dark web, haha). But the Petroleum Pricing Marketing Company is the subsidiary of the NNPC empowered to “profitably and efficiently market refined petroleum […]

May 15, 2020

After mechanics and tailors, dispatch riders come a close second. I have put up with their bad behaviour for too long. Enough is enough and that’s why I have brought this to the court of public opinion. Dispatch riders, please change your ways. 1) “I am at your gate.” Call me before coming. Don’t show […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

March 4, 2021

Prior to what the internet and that certain website say, sex can be very awkward. If there is one thing that can ease the tension, it is music. As we are in the business of being generous, we have complied 7 foolproof methods to help you create the perfect sex playlist 1.  Ask your father […]

March 4, 2021

Cadbury Nigeria, a part of Mondelēz International, and producers of the iconic Bournvita, a cocoa beverage drink, has rewarded the top three winning schools in the second edition of the Bourn Factor School Talent Hunt Competition, which took place nationwide, in 2020. The winners were unveiled at a media parley held at the Company’s head […]

March 4, 2021

Onscreen chemistry is one thing Old Nollywood got right. Some actors and actresses just had this thing that left you rooting for them hard even when you don’t think you should be. We decided to rank the top five couples from Old Nollywood that were everything. Genevieve Nnaji and Emeka Ike I know Tony Umez […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

November 11, 2019

Today, we are going to be using your taste in music to determine how good you actually are in bed. All you need to do is create the ultimate Nigerian hit — from the lead artist to the producer — and we’ll tell you if all your partners leave satisfied, or if you are just […]

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

More from Oldies

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

February 8, 2020

Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X