1. That person that smells like they used fish to bath.

Oga, you no go like use deodrant?

2. That ‘pharmacist’ selling a N200 cure for HIV, premature ejaculation and unemployment.

Add extra N100 and the drug will cure deafness, eye problem and will even help you marry.

3. That person that sha turns you into their pillow by force.

You entered bus single, now you have bae.

4. That human ATM that brings out a N1000 note to pay for a N50 fare.

This one doesn’t know where he is. If the conductor doesn’t tell him to get out, he should thank God.

5. That JJC that has no idea where they are even going.

This one will spend the entire trip asking “are we there yet?” and they will still somehow miss their bus-stop.

6. That pastor that turns the entire trip into a sunday service, complete with testimony and offering.

Immediately you hear “praise The Lord” just get ready.

7. That person on the phone that swears they are in a meeting.

Why da fuq you lying?

8. That paranoid person that spends the entire trip shouting “conductor, where my change?”

Oga they will give you your N50. don’t go and have a stroke.

9. That orobo that will crush everyone on their row and still have the liver to be shouting “shift”

They will now be shouting like they paid for extra seat.

10. That ‘comedian’ that thinks the bus is night of a thousand laughs.

This one is always looking for any reason to crack one unfunny joke or the other,

11. That shakara person that won’t collect their change from the conductor unless the note is mint.

This one thinks they are in a bank. If the conductor answers them, they are lucky.

12. That amebo that thinks two of you are now sharing one phone.

This one is more interested in what you’re pressing on your phone than the bus-stop they are supposed to be dropping.

13. That old person that spends the entire trip complaining about the driver’s speed, even when the bus is not moving..

Well, they did not enter bus to die.


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