The Engaged Nigerian’s Guide To Tensioning Their Single Friends

June 3, 2020

The moment you get engaged, you have to let all your single friends know that you are no longer their mate. Here are a few easy steps you can use to tension the hell out of them.

1. How you upload your ring picture on Instagram:

They must see it oh.

2. You, writing that ‘deep’ epistle for your Instagram caption.

Extra points if it’s a bible verse.

3. You changing your name on social media to “Mrs…” before the wedding.

No time to waste.

4. You, rushing to Facebook to change your relationship status:

No time.

5. You to all your single friends: “Don’t worry. God will do your own.”

They need the prayer.

6. How you do your hand whenever you are talking to them:

They must remember that you’re not like them again.

7. How you now see all the singles:

See their life.

8. You, planning to set them up with every single person you’ve ever met.

You don’t need their permission.

9. You, turning into a relationship counsellor overnight.

It’s now your second job.

10. When it’s been 5 minutes and you haven’t worked “my fiancé” into the conversation.

It needs to be like breathing for you.

11. You, dropping your couple hashtag months to the wedding.

They must not see road.

12. You, doing your pre-pre-wedding shoot.

You can never have too many pictures.

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