Hello fellow quarantings, how are you doing today? A little socially distant? Isolated from the things you love? We get it.
Nobody knows better than us how you’re taking the lockdown. In fact, we know you so well, we have decided to stage an e-intervention to save you from all the stanky things you’ve been getting up to, every day since lockdown started.
To prove we know our business, here are all the things we know you’re doing during lockdown, and why you have to stop them:
Rotating the same big shirt/nightie/boxers for days on end
On behalf of your SS1 home economics teacher, we’re going to appeal that you take those off and BURN them. Please and thanks.
Binge-eating your one-month lockdown snacks
Do you really want to carry out community service because you were sneaking to the store to replace the Super 2 pack you ate in two days? No you don’t.
Adding another plate to the other one you forgot in your room the day before
Three more days and you’ll be out of clean plates. #Dobetter.
Not brushing your teeth
Girl, your breath stank. Stop waiting until 3 PM (if at all) to brush your teeth.
Doing that 1-0-1 formula to decide when to take your bath
Off days are for the gym. We don’t take days off bathing over here.
Starting an Instagram live
Don’t.
Texting your ex
Affliction shall not rise a second time. Put down that phone.
Watching exercise videos doing no exercise
Just look at you and all the super two wrappers around you. SMH.
Watching all your Instagram highlights from when going outside wasn’t illegal
Don’t beat yourself up. We’ll all turn up again. Just stay inside for now.
Ignoring all your data consumption warnings and going HAM on Netflix
We can’t even really hate on this. Do what you must beloved.
Did we miss anything?
