1. When you are still in Uni and you’re shouting “200k starting salary or nothing.”

No time.

2. Your face, when you first get that N19,800 NYSC allowance.

What is this nonsense?

3. When NYSC is about to end and you realize you won’t be seeing that N19,800 again.

Hay God!

4. You, waiting for that “N200k starting salary” job to come.

Na wa.

5. You, looking for work after sitting at home for a couple of months.

I cannot come and go and die.

6. When they ask you how much salary you want and your mouth becomes too heavy to call that N200k.

Uhm! Actually…

7. When you struggle and do Masters and they still want to pay you like someone with first degree.

Are you mad?

8. When the small salary still doesn’t even enter your account on time.

What the hell?

9. When you subtract your transport and feeding money from your starting salary:

Let me just die.

10. When you hear you’re meant to save out of that salary too.

Save ke? Out of what?

11. When you now make the mistake of calculating how much your salary is in pounds.

I’ve made a terrible mistake.

12. When you tell your friends how much you’re making and they say “you’re even lucky.”

Lucky ke?

13. The pain:

See my life.
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