1. When you have to attend mass 7 mornings a week without fail.
Because you have to begin the day with Jesus and Mary.
2. When they expect you to stay awake through morning mass and also stay awake in class for the entire day.
Who do you people want to kill?
3. And there are still evening prayers 7 days a week.
The school life…
4. When the priest is preaching and he mentions how other churches are doing something wrong.
Okay.
5. When your CRK class is basically Cathecism class.
Did I offend you?
6. When you misplace something and the Sisters tell you to pray to St. Anthony to help you find it.
What is this nonsense?
7. When you mistakenly wear your skirt above your knee or sag your trousers.
Is the devil using you?
8. When your sex education was basically “If you talk to boys, you’ll get pregnant”.
And premarital sex is your ticket to hell.
9. And once it’s 12 noon or 6pm, you have to stop everything you’re doing. Because Angelus.
This is a lot! A lot of prayers!
10. When you’re not even Catholic but you have to learn all the prayers and now there’s no space for anything else in your brain.
Too many!
11. When the altar boys and girls were one of the coolest people in school.
Enjoy your godly fame.
12. When they leave space for the Holy Spirit between you and the next person during an exam.
You and the Holy Trinity.
13. When you’re in an only girl’s school and your brother school comes round but you’re not allowed to speak to them.
Just be looking sadly out the window.
14. If you’re not Catholic, the 40 days of Lent were your own personal hell.
I’m not even part of you people!
15. When you commit an offence and they tell you that you just nailed Jesus to the cross.
Jesus! Me?!
16. And now, even if you’re not in a Catholic church, your knee automatically bends when you enter a row.
Put respect in the church!
