1) Whenever you leave your house, you’ll wonder if that is the day you get harassed by the Nigerian police.

These days, you don’t even have to leave your house.

2) You will remember that one beggar you didn’t give money and wonder if that was Jesus testing you.

Am I going to hell??!

3) You will think about the fact that you hate your job and that if you continue on this path, you’ll never be happy.

Which will lead to you dying old and angry.

4) You’ll wonder if you’ll ever find true love.

Because you don’t want to die old and alone.

5) You’ll wonder if you have a health problem you don’t know about yet.

Every random pain in your body will make you spiral.

6) You will wonder if you’re going to be a good or shitty parent.

Let my kids not end up broken and damaged like me.

7) You’ll wonder if you’re terrible at sex and all your previous sex partners just lied to you so you don’t feel bad.

Jesus!

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