10 things people who are tired of Nigerian weddings will understand

June 4, 2018
Nigerian weddings are the best from the small chops to the outfits to the music, what’s not to love? Well, these ten things.

You’ll spend 4 hours in Lagos traffic trying to get to a wedding, you get there and they tell you food has finished.

Better bring out the small chops if you don’t want me to show my true colours

When your primary school friend’s sister’s cousin brings a bill for Aso-Ebi for her wedding

Where do I know you from, please?

When you get a wedding invitation for yet another Saturday you wanted to spend in your bed

Must you people marry sef?

When your friend brings the Aso-Ebi bill and it’s almost the same amount as your monthly salary

Are you trying to send me to an early grave

When after buying 50k Aso-Ebi the person serving small chops tries to walk past you

Do you think I’m here to play?  Abi you thought the Aso-Ebi was free?

When they tell you that the wedding is strictly by invitation so you stroll in at 4 expecting to find a seat

It’s first come first serve my brother

How the bouncers block you if you make the mistake of coming without your invitation

Ahan it’s wedding now not Escape

When they tell you it’s a destination wedding after you’ve paid for the Aso-Ebi

Did I tell you I have money to go to Enugu, you want me to follow you to Seychelles??!!

When the couple tells you it’s just a small wedding so you keep it simple only for you to get to the wedding and it’s bigger than OLIC

So you people’s plan was to disgrace me

After buying Aso-Ebi and the souvenir doesn’t get to you

You people had better go and bring out my own bucket

While we are on the topic of weddings, do you think bride price is necessary?

You'll like this

June 25, 2018

This was how I was staring out the bus when I arrived; everything was strange and I was trying to absorb all details all at once as my cousin pointed out places to me. Is this really the  Lagos? When I arrived, I had to fight the urge of starting everything I wrote especially tweets […]

Toketemu Ohwovoriole

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 5, 2020

As a Nigerian, you are definitely no stranger to the concept of money rituals. I mean, what’s unnatural about turning a whole fellow human being into wads of dollar bills? Normal level. Does anybody get frustrated with their current financial situations and fleetingly (but surely) considers money ritual? No? Me neither. The point is, there […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

More from List

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

February 8, 2020

Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X