There are a lot of things this lockdown has taught us about ourselves – we can actually sit down in one place, contrary to what our mothers and the attendance registers at the clubs say.
We’re all (closet) optimists, forget all the strong man we like to form on social media. And we’re also, when pushed to the wall during a lockdown, the laziest bums imaginable.
Some of our favourite lazy techniques during the lockdown are a combination of these:
The ‘I’ll shower when I’m done with work’ move.
Sure you will.
The let me just watch these 79 episodes of Assistant Madams before starting work’ operation.
Eight days and two query letters later…
The ‘if no one outside my house saw me wearing this, I can wear it for the whole week’ stealth attack.
An almost sound principle if you think about it.
The ‘let me just throw these one-week old plates under my bed away’ instead’ maneuvre.
Let me not risk exposure to another type of novel virus.
The ‘phew, I should really take these month- old braids out’ exercise.
But I won’t doe.
The ‘How long can I wear the same pair of boxers before they become an environmental hazard? Activity’
Asking for two brothers.
The ‘there’s no point tidying my wardrobe, I’m not going anywhere anyway’
Usually a support system to the fourth point.
The ‘I’ll rather starve than bother to cook’ self-sabotage.
People surviving on water and good vibes fur the day.
What techniques are you guilty of?
