Forget barrenness and erectile dysfunction for one hot minute. The real prayer point most Nigerians need to take to the mountain top is the might to overcome late coming.

Beyond coitus appointments, visa interviews and international flights, Nigerians are late to everything – work, church, life…

Because we know you latecomers and we are in fact the chairmen of the late coming board, here’s a detailed look at how latecomers operate:

Actually waking up early and spending around 30 minutes thinking about your life.

‘If I didn’t cut my hair in Pry 4, shey I won’t have had Ronaldo’s body by now?’

Changing your style and using Twitter to waste another hour of your time.

“This Oyemykke can shout!”

Realising you now have 15 minutes to brush, take your bath and make it from the mainland to the island in rush hour traffic.

“I can do it, let me just sharply brush.”

Inevitably getting stuck in traffic for three hours and getting late to your appointment.

But why are you like this?

Promising yourself you won’t be late to another appointment ever!

LOL. Ok.

Repeating steps 1 – 4 yet again, on another day.

Why are you like this (X2)

Getting to your appointment and forming vex for Nigerian traffic to cover your mistakes.

We see you!

When will Nigerians change?

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