It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship or not, if you do anything on this list, you don’t deserve true love because you have a poor sense of judgement.
You don’t like Asake
Not liking Asake is not a flex of any kind. In fact, it should be among the list of crimes punishable by dragging through the dark streets of Twitter. But there’s still hope for you, just fix up and watch the love of your life fall into your arms.
You don’t watch K-drama
The year is 2022, and you still haven’t watched a single K-drama series, and you think you can find love? Laughs in Lee Min Ho. We advise you to try and watch at least one before the year ends. Who knows? You might learn a thing or two about attracting your crush.
You’re active on Twitter
You left Instagram, WhatsApp and LinkedIn to choose Twitter as your favourite platform? Who are you trying to deceive? You don’t want love; you want problems always. And we agree.
You use apple products but don’t eat apples
Oya, we give you two hours to come up with a defence on why you think this behaviour is okay.
You say the word “sapa”
Any small thing, you’ve hurried to say, “sapa”. Why have you decided to use this word to death? What else would you say if we took sapa out of your vocabulary?
You’ve found love
Why would people tell you love ends in breakfast and you still carried your coconut head to enter there? You clearly do not deserve love of any form since you seem to like pain.
You prefer phone calls to text
The only people allowed to do this are people over the age of 50. If your first instinct is to call instead of text, what you need is a customer care job, not love.
You live in Lagos
You live in the most stressful city in Nigeria, and you’re thinking of love? You need to redirect that energy into surviving the long traffic, exorbitant transportation costs, noise and general struggle that comes with life in Lagos.
You haven’t gotten your Z! Fest tickets
We’ve provided you with an escape from all the stress, and you’re still thinking about whether to attend. SMH. Do you know you might even find love at the speed dating session if you attend Z! Fest? Well, now you know. Get your tickets so we can take you off this list.
Bonus point: You like semo
After constantly telling you to cancel this food, you’ve still gone ahead to not just eat it but enjoy it? You have some unresolved issues, and clearly, no one can love you till you get help.
