I saw this tweet and it had me, a resident broke person, thinking. There’s no foolproof method on how to survive on ₦15,000 a month but I wrote this guide last month.

This one is for those of you that didn’t read it.

1. Plan your budget

Budget which family member you are cutting off and do you really need a romantic interest right now in the midst of poverty? You can even remove drinking water and drink from the tap. If poverty doesn’t get you, dehydration will.

Life is tuff innit

2. Announce to your boss that you’re now working from home

If they can pay you a salary that leaves you with just ₦15,000 at the end of the month, they can survive without you for a couple of days.

If you lose your job please don’t @ me

3. There is rice at home

Rice can roughly be translated to mean garri, noodles, beans, and bread. It’s time to hone all the cooking skills you learnt during lockdown.

4. Avoid going to a church

Notice how it’s always when you’re broke that your pastor would be lead to tell you to empty your bank account? You’ve been warned. Except they share food in your church then please, run there.

You in church when you see an usher bringing food

5. Start a food truck

Pay a carpenter ₦4000 to build a small table and stool, use another ₦4000 to invest into the food you want to sell. There you have it, surviving on ₦15,000 like the boss you are.

You’d be surprised at people’s willingness to eat anything these days

6. Cut down on soda

You’ve been talking about how you want to do this for years, well now’s your chance. Water is healthier after all

By the time you get paid you’ll have six packs

7. Go to a money doubler

This is your best chance at surviving, there are plenty of money doublers in your Instagram inbox, check for the one that goes with your spirit and let the money in your bank account rise

Money-oney-oney-oney-oney-oney

God to you when you’re left with 15k again next month:

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