How To Kill Your Sim Card In 7 Easy Steps

December 19, 2019

Today on our How-To series, we will be taking you on a step by step procedure of how to successfully murder your sim card. The good thing about these steps is how easy they are to accomplish, leaving no evidence linking you to the heinous crime.

  • Have 4 different sim cards for your dual sim phone. This way you can draw a timetable for when each one gets a slot in the phone. Pick a sharp object and label them sim 1, sim 2, sim 3 and sim 4. 
  • After you have done this, start from Sunday. Put sim 1 and sim 2. Let 3 and 4 wait by your window sill, they need the fresh air to prepare them for work the next day. It is even better if it rains, after all, water no get enemy.
  • First thing Monday morning, remove Sim 1 and Sim 2, put 3 and 4. Because everyone deserves a fair chance. You need to remember to clean them after a dirty day’s work. Pick up your methylated spirit and cotton wool, if you have a sponge, even better. Clean carefully and gently. Turn to that golden panel and clean well. When you are done, leave by the window sill for fresh air. You are now fit to be named Minister of Maintenance.
  • This procedure should be carried out day in, day out for the purpose of consistency.
  • We are aware that sometimes there might be challenges, like one Sim proving stubborn and refusing to come out easily. It is most likely because of rust, it needs small oiling. Pick your palm oil, if you have engine oil, that’s perfect. You need to apply it generously and wait for five minutes. Then slightly lift the sim card at the edges with a knife. Do it with the stealth of a surgeon and watch it slip out easily. 
  • Another challenge that may occur after your diligent care, is that your phone may begin to malfunction. Don’t worry, it’s nothing Mr. Solo down the street can’t handle. When he tells you that you may have to come back for the phone tomorrow, remember to teach him your Sim card care routine. Remind him specifically to put on the window sill.
  • When you get there the next day and he tells you both the phone and Sim cards have been damaged beyond repair. Fret not, buy another dual sim phone and 4 Sim cards because in this life, tribulations will come but we must keep rising. 

NB: We are aware that you may however desire to give your Sim cards a chance to live a long fulfilling life, thankfully, MTN Nigeria has put the ABC of Sim Card care in the diagram below:

Follow this link to learn more on how to ensure that your Sim card lives a long satisfying life.

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