How To Join The Nigerian Morality Police Force

January 29, 2021

Morality policing is not a gender-exclusive task, it is a job anyone can be successful at. Very much like the actual Nigerian Police Force, you do not need any real qualifications for it. 

Here are a few easy steps to becoming a morality police officer.

1. Start a Clubhouse room

There is no better app to meet employers and future colleagues than on Clubhouse. Start a room and share some pointers on how best to judge other people. Once the room is over, you will be more than ready to start work as a morality police officer.

2. Mind other people’s business

Joblessness is the second pandemic we’re dealing with right now, and what better way to spend all that free time you now have than minding other people’s businesses for them? If this sounds like something you can do, morality policing might just be the job for you.

3. Bring up religion every chance you get

If you are not religious, you cannot be a successful morality police officer. It is important you impose your religious beliefs on people, convincing them they don’t know right from left. If you are religious but believe other people deserve agency and respect, this isn’t the job for you. 

4. Get angry when you see people having fun

Just start vexing when you see people enjoying themselves — throw your phone at the wall, pace around your room and rant for hours on the internet. You must be ready to have a heart attack when you see people, especially women, participating in fun internet challenges.

5. Do all the things you complain about

To join the morality police force, you have to be a hypocrite. After judging everyone, go and do those same things you complained about. I mean, you can’t complain about Bridgerton being immoral if you don’t watch season 1 at least twice — for research purposes of course.


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