If you’re constantly being betrayed by friends, maybe it’s because you’re befriending the wrong species. Befriend a chicken today and save yourself all of the stress that comes with human friendships. Need further convincing? Here you go:
1) Cheap friends to have
Unlike humans that are always asking you about the next motive, trying to do brunch and trying to link at the club, chickens don’t stress about that. Wetin concern chicken concern club? You save money by keeping them as friends.
2) They’ll pursue your haters
Unlike humans who backstab you and stand by your enemies, chickens will never. Infact, if any of your haters come too close to you, your chicken bestie will peck them out of your life.
3) They don’t keep grudges against you
You can offend your chicken friend right now and they’ll forgive you in less than five minutes. The best part is that you won’t even need to beg too much.
4) Constant givers
Your chicken bestie will constantly lay eggs for you. Do you know how much they’re selling eggs in the market? That’s a friend that cares for your well-being.
5) Partners in crime
If you need to distract someone in order to help you commit a crime, a chicken will help you. They’re such great partners in crime, they’re ready to lay down their life for you to pull all the pranks you need.
6) They’re the best reminders
If you need to be awake at the crack of dawn, your chicken bestie is ready to shout into your ear like an alarm clock. Can a human being do that?
7) You can eat them and not go to jail
When SAPA is knocking on the door, you can eat your bestie. It’s not like you can’t eat a human being, but eating a human being will probably land you in prison. Eating a chicken will not. The choice is yours.