What if the Royal Wedding was a Nigerian owambe?

May 24, 2018

The Internet went crazy for Harry and Meghan

The royal wedding has been one of the most talked about events this year.  Not only was it just a Royal Wedding, it was Meghan Markle’s, a black woman’s wedding!
And while the wedding was cute and all that, one thing everyone was probably asking was this; what would this wedding have looked like if it was a Nigerian one? Like, is there even a wedding if there’s no pre-wedding photoshoot?

Just look at Meghan and Harry.

Exhibit A: Man and woman in love, tenderly touch each other as they pose for the photo

Now, look at our own.

Exhibit B: Man and woman strike pose clearly illustrating what they intend to spend a lot of their time doing.

What about bridesmaids?

Look at this lineup. Is it really a bridal train if it can’t fill up one stadium? And can you see the colours?

How are we not seeing people slaying in Agbada?

Imagine all the pictures we saw of guests were Aso Ebi pictures? Just imagine Ebuka and David Beckham dragging for who rocked the Agbada better.

How can we forget about The Unshakeable Table

What is a Nigerian wedding without an Almighty table? The table that has all the drinks, food and small chops. Imagine Queen Elizabeth with one big bowl of Jollof Rice.

And the bride kneeling down to greet everyone.

Imagine Meghan walking past her mother-in-law, smiling or waving? That marriage? Cancelled.

Everlasting photo sessions.

Picture of couple with parents, picture of couple with ex boyfriend , picture of couple with enemies, picture of couple with dog, picture of couple with celebs, picture of couple with photographer, picture of couple with you….

It’s My Turn.

The main bridesmaid duty for meghan’s friends will be to meet Prince Harrys friends, because that type of blessing has to be distributed

And who’s going to perform?

This will be the event where wizkid and Davido finally drop a song together!

And when it is time for marital advice?

“and as I round up, sister Meghan, I want you to know that if your husband wants you to lick the ground you have no choice but to do it! He’s the head of the home.”

And most importantly, an abundance of Jollof Rice.

That everyone will still fight for because we need to keep some in the Fridge.

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