Our #ArgentinaMustGo Manifesto

STAR
June 26, 2018

Ladies and gentlemen, grab a pen and paper. We’re about to do some serious calculations.

We’re back to using further maths to know whether we are going to qualify. Like we’ve done with everything truly Nigerian.

As we all know, we lost our first match against Croatia, while our boys were dancing shaku-shaku.

But let the past just remain in the past please.

We turned up the heat and destroyed Iceland in our 2nd Game. Melted their ice anyhow.

If you haven’t seen it, we’re seizing your Nigerian passport.

Now, for some reason Argentina’s Mascherano is pretty confident that they’re going to win against Nigeria today.

But he doesn’t know what’s coming yet. He doesn’t know.

Whatever anybody wants to say or do, one thing is for sure; ARGENTINA MUST GO.

Put all of them inside bag, let them be going back home.

If only our twitter prophet predicted this match like he predicted the last one.

Prophet where are you? Please don’t wake up until you’ve dreamt o.

Ahmed Musa has become a national treasure, and we need to protect him at all cost.

Whatever it takes.

While we are protecting Musa, we have to keep another individual in mind. Messi.

Bury Messi.

See we have three options for this game.

Just three.

Win!

So that everybody can drink and be baby boys and girls.

The second option is also quite simple. Win.

You heard that right.

And the third?

We could manage a draw. Win or die on de line. Now, if you could tell the Super Eagles one thing today, what are you telling them abeg?
Sponsored by
STAR

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

April 19, 2021

There’s always that one thing you can beat your chest about even if all else fails. It is your unique selling point or distinguishing factor as an individual wherever you go, ak.a your flex. This quiz will reveal what yours is. Dive in.

April 19, 2021

We all have things that we do that make us feel just a little bit guilty. These six Nigerian women share with us what their guilty pleasures are. Bola, 25 Pringles. I love pringles so much. In school, I used to set money aside from my allowance to buy Pringles. It was even a part […]

April 19, 2021

People (and by people I mean strangers on the internet) are often quick to say “Nigerian men and women were made for each other. I decided to confirm if this match was made in heaven or Nigerian men were better suited to others. I asked six Nigerian men about their romantic experiences with non-Nigerians. Here’s […]

April 19, 2021

Mummy, daddy, uncle and aunty, we shall not be beating around the bush. Here is a list of things you do that we do not appreciate and we think you need to stop doing them.  T for Thanks. 1. Sending Whatsapp broadcasts (a.k.a forwarded many times) Please, make it stop. The broadcasts are always so […]

April 19, 2021

Bras are one of the most unnecessary things on earth. They dig into your skin, leave marks on your shoulder, and are just downright uncomfortable especially if you have bigger breasts. Now, because we all hate bras, here are some alternatives. 1) Nylon We are all about recycling and taking better care of the environment, […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

More from Gist

August 11, 2020

Remember the Nigerian boy who was seen doing ballet pirouettes barefoot and in the rain, in that viral video? Well, he’s been offered a scholarship by the prestigious American Ballet Theater. With the help of American actresses Viola Davis and Cynthia Erivo, the video garnered 15 million views, ultimately leading to Anthony Madu being offered […]

December 19, 2019

Nigeria is a shitty place for those who live here, many seek an escape route. But, amid the insecurities, bad economy, and the uncaring government, some things happened this year that make us feel thankful. Yeah, we know, hard to believe right? Yet we need to end the year on a positive note, so here are some […]

November 18, 2019

Nigerians are yet to come to terms with the fact that cats can be pets but now have to deal with the fact that someone thinks a lion is tame enough to have as a security guard. Reports now confirm that a two-year-old lion was discovered in a residential building in the Victoria Island area […]

November 4, 2019

The 8th edition of the popular beach soccer tournament, Copa Lagos held throughout the weekend at Eko Atlantic, VI. It had us loving the opportunity to immerse ourselves in enjoyment. You should know by now that we can’t pass up a chance to get the ultimate weekend experience. And you know the fun part? We […]

October 21, 2019

In case you went under the rock this weekend then you MISSED. There was a lot of excitement for our Nigerian superstar musicians and the spotlight was on them, big time. From the much anticipated Headies award, to the birth of Davido’s son, Naira Marley’s legwork and his subtle shade at the organizers of the […]

October 15, 2019

Leather, as I have always known it to be, is a flexible material gotten from tanning animal skin. It is used to make most fashion items (shoes, clothes, bags, wristwatches), furniture, book covers and more. Cattle hide and reptile skin are the most popular skins used for leather but now there is a new kid […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X