Types Of Muslims You’ll Find When Sallah Comes

August 21, 2018

It’s ram season again!

I’m not saying that it’s the highlight of this season o, but you know… Ram is delicious, man.

The festive period is when everybody’s true colours come out, and Eid al-Adha issa real eye-opener.

You Muslims are casted and you don’t even know. Let me tell you how you guys behave when Sallah comes around.

Those of you that only go to mosque on Sallah but will still be prouding.

Last last God is watching us all in 3D.

Then there are those of you that have been only been waiting for this day just so you can show up and show out!

Pepper dem!

For some of you, this season means nothing but frustration.

“What do you mean ram is now 90k? Was it not just two days ago that I came here and you were selling for 65k?!”

Then there are those that this is their only interest.

Because it means you can run home from the mosque and kill your own ram. Food is life tbh.

Some of you catch the festive bug and are fully prepared to turn up!

Y’all are the real MVPs tbh.

And of course, there are those of you that will ghost on guys because of meat.

“Just call me when you dey my street” but two days later, your number is still switched off.

At least there are the people that will still share meat even if they don’t throw a party.

We appreciate you joor, because where else we for see meat? Your groundnut oil won’t finish.

Or is it the ones that think flight tickets are only available during Sallah?

Every Eid you’re “out of town”? Wawu.

Finally, we have those sure Muslim friends that even if they don’t have meat to give you, will still point you in the right direction.

“You smart. You loyal. I appreciate that.”

If you guys don’t want me to finish casting all your secrets, you’d better send some ram meat my way.

A word is enough o!

Eid Mubarak, brothers and sisters! Love and blessings!

You'll like this

October 2, 2019

I was listening to Nicki Minaj’s “All things go” the other day and the “this life is a movie, but there will never be a sequel” line hit; it’s true, this life no get part two. I’m not writing about our mortality or where we rank in the grand scheme of things; no morbid thoughts […]

Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

July 12, 2020

Igbo Nigerians like to do things the “Igbo way”. It’s like sometime way back Igbo people held a meeting and made a checklist for being Igbo. So asides the obvious tradition being upheld there is also a culture that comes with being Igbo. Here are 5 things every Igbo Nigerian has done, will do, or […]

zikoko - open marriages
July 11, 2020

Since the love triangle between Will Smith, Jada Pinkett Smith and August Alsina became public knowledge a lot of Nigerians suddenly remembered that open marriages are a thing and are taking to Twitter to air their opinions. 1. Inside life. 2. Bringing a bazooka to small play. 3. We moved on brah. 4. Someone needs chill pills. […]

July 11, 2020

In this day and age, it’s near impossible to live without some form of technology. You need a phone, or a laptop, or at least an iPad fam. How else will you get to read Zikoko’s gists? Granted, owning a device comes with loads of perks but there are also some annoying things attached like; […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

More from General

June 15, 2020

Schools are pretty much all about lectures, tests, exams, and assignments. Of course, students have a love-hate (mostly) relationships with all of them. Let’s talk about assignments, we will come to the others later. When students have to deal with a new assignment, their thoughts go something like this: 1. This lecturer own is too […]

May 29, 2020

You know, for people who have the hardest time permitting their children to attend sleepovers, inter-state excursions and any program not designed for the church or mosque, Nigerian parents are awfully trusting when their children decide an education abroad is what they want to spend a few years of their lives pursuing. And when it […]

April 24, 2020

The rise of new Nollywood has brought with it a host of exciting new stars like Adesua Etomi, Enyinna Nwigwe and many more. However, one star who never seems to get the due they deserve is the Lekki-Ikoyi bridge. Vey few Nollywood performers are as relentless and as hard-working as the bridge, who, without any […]

April 21, 2020

They say you can’t miss what you never had. (Un) Fortunately for us single pringles, while everyone is collectively worrying about issues like oil prices, practising safe social distancing and lockdown etiquette, we’re excused from worrying about another matter. One of the heart — being apart from your significant other while the coronavirus is contained. […]

April 1, 2020

Brymo — “Strippers + White Lines” Brymo, one of Nigeria’s most acclaimed singer-songwriters, just released his seventh studio album, Yellow, and “Strippers + White Lines” is its astounding lead single. On the Mikkyme Joses-produced track, Brymo sings about his struggles with depression, his unhealthy coping mechanisms and fighting to find the light amidst all the […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X