I’m walking home on a rather sunny evening, thinking about how I’m going to acquire my lamborghini, when I notice 2 kids who seem to be having a good time.
Okay boy’s don’t forget talk to about what aunty taught you in school today.
I decide to keep minding my business, since it seemed like a harmless gathering.
“Let me be fast before these children come and ask me 2×2 that I don’t even remember”
After increasing my pace, I had to pause when I heard one of them say “your daddy is a bombastic element”
And the next kid replies; “You mean my daddy? it’s my own father you’re calling bombastic”
I took a few steps back, and tried to ask..
..what’s going on here boys?
It’s this American dustbin that called my own father a bombastic element, my father !
Wawu this is getting serious o. But why did you say that to him?
Haa aunty this boy is a Jabajantis stupendus liar.
Meee! Ohh my life
We were just playing oh, that’s how he said my head is like watermelon. Then I abused his daddy.
Small abuse and he is now angry, rubbish
Meanwhile, their noise had attracted all the kids on the street.
Oyaa continue
This boy is just an Unflushable toilet. Can’t you see his head? Was I lying aunty?
The other kids were already shouting ‘yeeeeeee’
Since I was the only old person there, I tried to counsel them.
Everybody, just calm down, it’s not good to fight, if you fight you will go to hell fire.
While I was being a saviour, one of the kids said ” this aunty is a nonsense and ingredient konkorbility, who put her mouth? “
wait, but, what? what did I do?
They all started laughing at me, and then I realised I had overstayed my welcome.
I took a long miserable walk of shame back home.
I wondered if they were alright, but realised even I wasn’t alright for not minding my business.
On Sunday, November 30th, 2020, many Nigerians woke up to the sad news that over 43 rice farmers in communities near Borno State, Nigeria, had been killed by Boko Haram insurgents. While the government has claimed that Boko Haram has been “technically defeated”, the group continues to carry out terrorist attacks, especially in the northeastern […]
For everyone who went to primary and secondary school in Nigeria, there are a few books that are considered classics. From Without a Silver Spoon to The Bottled Leopard, these books defined our childhood. Now, we want to see if you remember the authors behind 12 of them. Take the test to prove yourself:
The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 31-year-old heterosexual woman who has never had penetrative sex because she’s embarrassed by the way her vagina looks.
If you’ve ever been in a fight, you should know that there are multiple possible ways it can end. Many times, fights end with one person wishing that the people trying to hold them back at the beginning of the fight had been a bit stronger. Maybe they wouldn’t be in so much pain. If […]
2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant. So, in a bid […]
2020 is almost over, and while we spent most of the year indoors, we are sure that didn’t stop y’all from increasing your body count. So, we’ve created a quiz that knows how many people you slept with this year. Take to find out:
While this might seem like a relatively easy quiz, there’s a tiny twist. We are challenging you to correctly identify all the capitals of Nigeria’s 36 states without singing that song we all learnt in primary school.
Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:
With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]
We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:
Christmas is an annual celebration of the birth of Christ, characterized by gifting, being around friends and relatives, and making beautiful memories. 5 Nigerians share their most memorable Christmas experiences with us
IJGBs) are now in town to remind us that the weather in Heathrow in different from the one in Honolulu. While IJGBs have knowledge of worlds, we have knowledge of words. Here are six slangs IJGBs have to learn to blend in.
December 1st is World AIDS Day. It is a day to raise awareness about AIDS. We spoke to Doctor Opeyemi, to tell us some facts about the disease, common misconceptions and how to care for people living with AIDS. 1) AIDS AIDS (Acquired Immuno Deficiency Syndrome) is the late stage manifestation of the viral infection […]
Are you freaky or vanilla? Take this quiz to find out how sexually adventurous you are. 11 Timed Quizzes For Nigerians With Fast Fingers Do you have fast fingers? Take these quizzes.
The subject of today’s Abroad Life is a 25-year-old woman who lives and studies medicine in Dominica. She talks about how she got the admission, the fact that there are a lot of Nigerians there, and why she wants to leave once she’s done with her programme. First things first, where are you right now? […]
For a lot of Nigerians, the ultimate Nigerian Dream is to japa. Many people prefer to go to Canada, AKA ‘Abroad Nigeria’ and live with the rest of the Nigerians that are there. If you’ve successfully japa’d here are some of the things you can definitely relate to: 1. When you start your visa processing […]
For many Nigerians, their experiences at buffets rank highest as one of their most embarrassing moments. Read: 5 Ways A Buffet Can Go Wrong In Nigeria From simple things like being overly shy because you now have to exercise your alimentary canal in front of everyone, to really serious buffet malfunctions like when a host […]
Although non-members of the LGBTQ+ community are harassed when profiled as “gay”, a lot of people believe that the QueerNigerianLivesMatter hashtag is unnecessary. Members of the LGBTQ+ community, like many Nigerians, are fighting for their right to exist. They are victims of police brutality. So, we spoke to some queer Nigerian protesters to tell us […]
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
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Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
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