I’m walking home on a rather sunny evening, thinking about how I’m going to acquire my lamborghini, when I notice 2 kids who seem to be having a good time.
Okay boy’s don’t forget talk to about what aunty taught you in school today.
I decide to keep minding my business, since it seemed like a harmless gathering.
“Let me be fast before these children come and ask me 2×2 that I don’t even remember”
After increasing my pace, I had to pause when I heard one of them say “your daddy is a bombastic element”
And the next kid replies; “You mean my daddy? it’s my own father you’re calling bombastic”
I took a few steps back, and tried to ask..
..what’s going on here boys?
It’s this American dustbin that called my own father a bombastic element, my father !
Wawu this is getting serious o. But why did you say that to him?
Haa aunty this boy is a Jabajantis stupendus liar.
Meee! Ohh my life
We were just playing oh, that’s how he said my head is like watermelon. Then I abused his daddy.
Small abuse and he is now angry, rubbish
Meanwhile, their noise had attracted all the kids on the street.
Oyaa continue
This boy is just an Unflushable toilet. Can’t you see his head? Was I lying aunty?
The other kids were already shouting ‘yeeeeeee’
Since I was the only old person there, I tried to counsel them.
Everybody, just calm down, it’s not good to fight, if you fight you will go to hell fire.
While I was being a saviour, one of the kids said ” this aunty is a nonsense and ingredient konkorbility, who put her mouth? “
wait, but, what? what did I do?
They all started laughing at me, and then I realised I had overstayed my welcome.
I took a long miserable walk of shame back home.
I wondered if they were alright, but realised even I wasn’t alright for not minding my business.
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Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
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