Has anybody ever wondered why Nigerians are at the chilliest they can be on ATM queues. There may be grumbles and all when someone is taking too long with the machine, but nobody tries to take your place for the most part. But that’s not the deal right now.

The ATM is cool and all, but since it’s electronic, errors happen. It could swallow your card and refuse to return it — but that’s not really a problem because you’re sure to get it back. The problem is when some shit happens and you get a “transaction failed” prompt, but your bank has debited your account. Mistakes like this happen — sure, but this is Nigeria — you might not get that money back. This slaps different if you were just about to withdraw your last card.

If this has happened to you, then you probably went through this:

You Waited To See If It Would Be Reversed

You were in disbelief, but your hope was still strong. You found a space in the ATM  gallery away from the rest, eye fixed on your phone and switching between your messaging and banking apps, hoping that you would see that your beloved funds had been reversed.

You Weighed Your Options

Your math might not be the best, but you didn’t need it at that point to realise how fucked you were. You made mental notes about your financials, and the only thing you arrived at was how badly you needed that money.

You Left The Booth And Moped All The Way Home

You’d spent too much time at the ATM, and you were beginning to get weird stares. You left the gallery and headed home with a heavy heart. The tears were not rolling down your face, but you could hear your heart weeping.

You Took It To Twitter

You needed the money, but you were not about to waste a lifetime in the bank. You explored other available options and saw that Twitter was the next best thing to do. You really wanted to drag them and drop scathing remarks on their TL, but that wouldn’t t help you recover your money. So, you sent them a DM, waiting with bated breath to see if they would respond. They did.

You provided everything they asked for. You held on tightly to a glimpse of hope until they gave sent you the dreaded words – your money would be reversed after 10 working days. It was funny how it took seconds to debit you but days before they planned to return the money from where they took it.

You Took It To The Next Level

10 days passed and your funds had not been reversed. You were done playing nice. You dragged them on Twitter. That didn’t help. You considered going to the bank to fuck shit up. You probably did and even threatened to close your account.

You Chose The Moral Higher Ground

One month passed. Then two months. Your money didn’t get back to you. You chose closure and the peace it brought and decided to let the money go.

Nigerian Banking System 1-0 You. But we move.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.