The Ultimate Guide To Becoming A Yoruba Aunty

November 19, 2019

If you grew up in a Yoruba home, you know for sure that your parents do not have exclusive parenting rights on you; there are other people, possessing a hold over you, especially how you behave and stuff. High up on this list are Yoruba aunties. We know you’re rising to that status too, so we thought to do a post on how to be the ultimate Yoruba aunty

Always Show Up Unannounced

If you are really serious about this gig, you can’t let anybody know when you are knocking on their door. How else would you meet your nieces and nephews when their guards are down if they knew your movement? And if anybody tries to turn it into a big deal, just dismiss their protests and justify your movement with an excuse like “I was in the area and decided to say hello.” 

Impeccable Supervising Skills

This is a survival skill you need to have, especially for family events – you know the kind where everybody connected by the last name shows up for. In the chaos that usually characterises these events, you must be at the forefront of it, barking orders and making sure everyone follows them. Your eyes have to as sharp as an eagle hovering in the sky and looking for a next meal. More importantly – and pay attention because it is critical – make sure no one steals anything. If that happens, you have failed.

An Unrelenting Gossiping Spirit

To qualify for this role, you must have an innate ability to sniff for news and gossips, even those that many would argue doesn’t concern you. You have to be a sponge, soaking everything in. Of course, you have to spread all these intel you like gathering to anyone who cares to listen, and those who don’t.

Strong Hate For Any Form Of Disrespect

Nothing should disgust you more than any show of disrespect from anyone younger than you, especially your nephews and nieces. If one of those little wankers curtsy the wrong way and you don’t use that opportunity to give them a much-needed lecture about how rotten they are and how things were much different back in your day, I’m sorry, the role is not yours yet. Also, make sure everybody you can make do things call you ‘mummy’.

Develop A Liking To Loud Conversations

Please, note this. The louder your voice is, the more confident you are in your role. It has to be awkward for you if any other person’s voice rises above yours. In fact, it is something you need to remedy immediately – nip it in the bud before anybody starts to question your status.

Offer To Play Host

Now, you have nephews and nieces, many of whom you’d like to spend more time with. So, you need to be as magnanimous as much as you can and offer to host them during the holidays. Most of them won’t accept the invitation, but it doesn’t matter; you’re just doing your job.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

June 6, 2016

Each composition that makes our support is entirely distinctive and plagiarism-free. Which should be taken into account when deciding on the on-line writing support. In case you are seeking to find the greatest composition paper writing support, you may hardly discover much better essayists everywhere. Just because you’re looking for a controllable essay writing service […]

January 10, 2014

Twitter influencers are everywhere, working hard and giving us powerful tweets to influence our lives. And this is not an easy task, you know. But you are ungrateful and you don’t appreciate them enough. By the time you are done reading this, you should be full of appreciation for the hard work they do. Every […]

October 29, 2019

Every grown Nigerian knows about ASUU and their hard-earned reputation. No judgments here; everybody must be known for something. At this point, ASUU or the news of any of their strikes shouldn’t really be news, but because these things affect hundreds of thousands of students, we can’t get that wish. So what is it this […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

More from General

March 10, 2022

Offers opportunity for young changemakers from Nigeria, Kenya and South Africa to join the Global Citizen Fellowship Program for a year-long, full-Time, paid placement International advocacy organisation Global Citizen has today announced that application for the 2022/23 Global Citizen Fellowship Program powered by BeyGOOD is now open until 29th April 2022. Fifteen young African changemakers: […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X