That Time My Secondary School Senior Tried To Toast Me

October 19, 2016

1. So I went for a party a few weeks ago.

Fun times!

2. To catch some fun and dance away my sorrows.

It’s necessary oh!

3. I had just bumped into my ex boyfriend a few days earlier.

Wretched guy!

4. And not only was he looking happy and relaxed, he even had a new girlfriend.


5. Needless to say, I was in need of cheering up!

As a matter of necessity!

6. Anyway, the party was grooving.

Nice one!

7. The music was popping.

The DJ must have studied DJ-ism!

8. The drinks were flowing.

9. My make up was on fleek!

I was too hot to handle!

10. All of a sudden a sexy voice said in my ear “hello you look nice”.

Could this be the start of something new?

11. I almost shivered and died of excitement but I had to compose myself.

I immediately had to form big babe!

12. I said “thank you” in my “fine boy is talking to you, you better compose” voice.

Very sweet voice!

13. We danced to a few songs.

Obviously this man wants me to have his children!

14. And whispered and giggled to each other all night.

Sweet love is in the air!

15. Then I realised the time was far spent and I had to go!

Wow!  Is this where it all ends?

16. So he offered to walk me outside to my taxi so he could get my number!

Thank God!

17. As soon as we got outside and the light hit him, I froze!


18. No it couldn’t be!

Say it isn’t so!

19. Ah! yes it was!

Ye it is oh!

20. I just shouted “Senior Emeka so it’s you”.

Can you imagine?

21. This almost romantic encounter of mine used to be my senior in secondary school!

Look at life!

22. He would send my friends and I to fetch his bathing water and wash his clothes.

Imagine all that stress!

23. He even used to take our meat and plantain sometimes during lunch and dinner!

That’s why some of us are so short! No protein!

24. Now he was asking when he could see me again.

See who?

25. Before he realised what was going on I pulled his lips and knocked his fat head.

Foolish fellow!

26. That was for all the suffering he put me through in secondary school!

He deserved worse sef!

27. Then I hopped into my taxi and left while he was wondering what exactly had just happened.

Bye bye!

28. See you again in your dreams, Senior Emeka!

Because every day for the thief, one day for the owner!

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