My (Almost) Sugar Daddy And Me

July 22, 2016

I had just been promoted at work, so I went to have lunch somewhere very nice to congratulate myself.

Yass!

I really enjoyed myself oh, eating and overeating sef.

Is it your promotion? Allow me jere!

When it was time to pay, the waiter told me my bill had been taken care of and a “really nice man” wanted to appreciate me.

Oh?

What I was hoping to see:

Yes sir, Anything you want sir.

What I saw:

Ah! Maybe not.

This big daddy waddled to me and without any wasting of time, told me he is ready to take care of me.

You mean am?

I told him “no thank you” and tried to pay him back the money.

Baba carry your wahala and go oh!

He refused oh and started promising to fly me all around the world, buy me things and show me a good time.

Ahn ahn! Is it by force?

Me:

Oga go and fry this your dodo elsewhere!

Before I could even say anything again I just heard one booming voice “EHEN CLETUS SO THIS IS WHERE YOU ARE?”

EWO!

My almost sugar daddy’s wife had come to fight him oh!

Kasala don burst!

Before I could run away she had carried water and poured on me and started calling me “husband snatcher”.

Which kind of problem is this?

Ah! Before she carried food to add and pour on me I ran out of the place with speed and alacrity!

Somebody help me!

That’s how I had to go back to the office looking like shame and regret.

This is not the life I was promised!

Since that day this is me when any older looking man smiles at me:

It’s not me you people will kill!

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