How To Kink Up Your Sex Life With Just N10,000

January 14, 2020

Firstly, this is a safe place

Secondly, this was done for the sake of science

*The proton mixes with the neutron = electron*

Lastly, leave your home training at the door and come in

So, the other day I was wondering (not so loudly) the cost of adult toys. With dwindling wages and increased unemployment, what’s the cost of a decent toy that will satisfy you and also not leave you bankrupt?

So, we decided to pick a price point (N10,000) and search for some of the items that can be purchased under this bracket. This is because our job at Zikoko is to make sure you enjoy your life…but on a budget. Chop life but track it on a spreadsheet

Apart from the fact that some toys are freakishly expensive, some are just plain scary. Not to bore you with the gory details of the dark web, let us begin.

1) Dear men, this is for you

After seeing this, the meaning of let’s grab a beer is no longer the same for me. At N10,000, this masturbator comes shaped like a beer bottle to deflect suspicions and it’s super easy to use (or so the manual says).

2) The home and away weapon of pleasure or pain

For N5,200, you can either employ this bad boy to spice up your sex life or use it in Lagos traffic when people are moving mad. It really just depends on your mood.

*Kinky*

3) Ladies get in here

This is the most expensive “lipstick” I have ever seen. For a vibrator, this is very convenient and discrete. In addition, it is rechargeable which makes the price of N9,500 fair enough. It also comes with 10 different speeds of vibration so you can enjoy yourself to the fullest.

4) Living in bondage

Featuring a mask, gag, handcuff, ankle cuff, whip, rope, neck collar, and a cross belt – I can’t tell if this is for law enforcers, armed robbers, or even lovers looking to settle a score with each other in the name of kinky. Anyhow, if you have N9,000 to spare, you too can carry out your first armed robbery operation today.

5) Banana

It beats me why Banana is such a sexualized fruit. In every form, this fruit has been scandalized. If you are looking to literally eat the work of your partner then this edible lubricant is for you. With N6,500 you can eat your “work” and still have it.

Take banana till you go yo?

6) Sweet-not-in-the-middle

A bra made out candy. Think about it. Just think about it, a sweet source of energy replenishment. You get to take in calories while simultaneously burning it. It’s simply brilliant and for N7,500 you can get all your calorie serving and burn in one place.

*Yum*

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Hassan Yahaya

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