How Many Of These People Did You Meet In NYSC Camp?

June 29, 2018
You’ll never be exposed to a crowd of people as diverse as those you’ll meet in NYSC camp. Although the living conditions are appalling these people almost make the whole experience worth it.

There are the ones who just came back from the overseas and will start stressing everybody with ‘that’s not how we did thing in the States’ and accent.

Even the ones who went to Cotonou will have British accent.

There are the ones who were only interested in getting exeat so that they could go home.

They didn’t come to suffer with you commoners.

The ones who just came to drink their destinies away at mammy market.

But on a serious note, they might have actually needed professional help.

Then there were the ones who belonged to the school of hard knacks and only came to have as much sex as they could.

It’s just three weeks, it’s that how the konji is doing you?

The ITKs that were always volunteering for everything.

They didn’t rest until they became platoon leader.

The ‘do you know who my father is’ people?

If you don’t geddifok out of here.

The ones who were somehow so excited to be in camp.

Have you seen the toilets? What’s making you happy?

We can’t leave out all those promise and fail soldiers.

The ones that’ll tell you don’t worry if you march well you’ll get posted to the capital and you ended up getting posted to a village without light.

The ones who were only there for the food.

All the food sellers at mammy market knew them.

The ones you are pretty sure were old enough to have been in the first ever batch of NYSC.

They might have even been your father’s age mate.

The ones whose life mission was to never step foot on the parade ground.

They did whatever it took and were always in the clinic.

There was the friendly soldier everyone liked.

They didn’t have any wahala.

And the one who was only interested in making people miserable.

But who offended you?

The ones who came to camp to find love.

And they found it o.

The ones who secured their exeat with doctor’s report as soon as they stepped foot into the camp.

Only you asthma, cancer, bronchitis and HIV. Take your wahala and go.

So who did we leave out and which one were you?

Toketemu Ohwovoriole

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

February 18, 2020

Curriculum Vitae aka C.V, the one place where it’s okay to lie through your teeth as a Nigerian because everyone else is doing it. Well, almost everyone. In Nigeria, there are common lies that you’ll find in almost every C. V because jobs are competitive and unemployment is real. You don’t believe us? come see […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

More from General

August 27, 2021

Nigeria’s leading dishwashing liquid, Morning Fresh, has unveiled Tolani Tayo-Osikoya, a successful Chef, Food Blogger and Owner of Diary of a Kitchen Lover, as its new brand ambassador.  Prior to the unveil, Tolani had been sharing the inspiring story of her journey on her social media platforms, reassuring Nigerians that dreams are valid even in […]

August 5, 2021

When it comes to games night ideas you can play with friends, it is best to consider the people you’ll be inviting so you can choose games that each person will enjoy. Not every time truth or dare, or never have I ever. Here are 8 game night ideas you can play with your friends. […]

July 15, 2021

The University authorities released a statement addressing the rise of Covid-19 cases in UNILAG on Tuesday after this tweet was made. Huh ??? Covid outbreak in Unilag  ??? https://t.co/LbH5Xv3nM7 – Jahmal (@JahmalUsen) July 12. 2021 The statement reads, Read more here. School activities were going on as normal, even after several Covid-19 positive students were […]

July 15, 2021

What do you do before you breakup with someone? Well, you should try out any of these seven things. 1) Eat A hungry man is an angry man. So sometimes the reason you want to break up with your partner is because you’ve not had some good food in a while. Before you type that […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X