Nigerian tailors have been disappointing us since time immemorial. If their sewing machine isn’t bad, their mother is sick or they stole their gen and that’s why your cloth is not ready. If you are tired of Nigerian tailors’ wahala, then this one is for you.
If you need the cloth in two months tell them you need it in two weeks.
By the time you really need your clothes, they’ll be ready.
Always remember that every word that comes out of their mouth is a lie.
If they tell you, you need ten yards that means you need eight.
If they start asking too many questions about the style you want to make that means they can’t sew it. Leave.
No matter how many times they tell you ‘yes ma I can sew it’.
Never use a tailor without a shop or who’s squatting in someone’s shop.
The day you drop your material and a deposit is the last day you’ll see them.
If you are using the tailor for the first time, give them cheap ankara that someone dashed you.
Don’t give them that lace that you bought for 50k. If not your case will be one of had I known.
Don’t give them any breathing space. Sit on their heads.
Call them morning, afternoon and night. If their shop isn’t far pop in every now and then until your cloth is ready.
Don’t collect your cloth on the day you need it.
If it’s not too big, it’ll be too small. Or the jumpsuit you asked for might have turned to gown.
If you need something sewn quickly keep it very simple.
If you give a Nigerian tailor three days to sew agbada with embroidery you won’t like what you’ll collect.
Never ever pay in full, don’t even pay half.
If you do, whatever state your cloth was in when you paid is how it’ll stay until you call police.
If you check in on your tailor and they haven’t even cut your material collect it back and flee.
4 months from now you’ll still be begging for the cloth.
If they disappoint you and break your heart once, treat them like a bad ex and never go back.
What are you still doing with that tailor that didn’t let you wear the asoebi you bought to that wedding? Remember the pain of the small chops tray passing you by because you didn’t wear asoebi? Good hold on to that vex.
Show them no mercy.
If they tell you their mother is sick, they are lying. They got robbed? Lying. Hold their neck and collect your cloth.
Finally, always be wary.
That tailor that hasn’t disappointed you in ten years will do so one day. It’s not their fault it’s just their nature.
Google is paying homage to Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti today by celebrating her posthumous 119th birthday with a wonderful doodle by Nigerian-Italian artist, Diana Ejaita. Here’s what you need to know about such a great legend, who once pursued a king from his throne: Early Life: She was born on October 25, 1900 in Abeokuta, Ogun State, […]
Yesterday, we were shocked by news of the passing of basketball legend, Kobe Bryant. Many media outlets broke the story with an air crash indicated as the cause of his demise. While basketball is not as popular as football in Nigeria, there are some ardent supporters of the game here. To celebrate the life of […]
Today’s #ZikokoWhatSheSaid subject is Laura, a 23-year-old Kenyan woman. She talks about moving to a new town at 16, her rocky relationship with her sister, respecting her more after their mum dies, struggling with depression and finally accepting that grief is an unending cycle.
The story of what really happened in Kano depends on who you ask. Some eyewitnesses are claiming it was a bomb explosion, but the official explanation is a gas explosion. Here’s what we know.
“I can never snitch on my guy for anything. Nothing at all. That’s the only one I can uphold. When it comes to things like sleeping with my guys’ babes? God forgive me.”
The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]
While this might seem like a relatively easy quiz, there’s a tiny twist. We are challenging you to correctly identify all the capitals of Nigeria’s 36 states without singing that song we all learnt in primary school.
After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:
Colours are more than something the eyes see, they’re also a representation of behaviours and personalities. Take this quiz and we will tell you which colour best describes your personality. Let’s begin.
Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]
While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:
Offers opportunity for young changemakers from Nigeria, Kenya and South Africa to join the Global Citizen Fellowship Program for a year-long, full-Time, paid placement International advocacy organisation Global Citizen has today announced that application for the 2022/23 Global Citizen Fellowship Program powered by BeyGOOD is now open until 29th April 2022. Fifteen young African changemakers: […]
Triller, the AI-powered, open garden technology platform for creators, has joined #BreakTheBias, the global campaign in honor of International Women’s Day (#IWD2022) on Tuesday, 8th March. All Triller platforms will feature stories from 30 incredible women in the music and entertainment industry who are working to end gender bias, along with a specially curated #BreakTheBias […]
In view of the humanitarian crisis in Ukraine, MTN has announced it will be offering free international calls and SMS to all existing prepaid and postpaid customers, effective immediately. This offer is aimed at supporting customers to stay in touch with their loved ones while eliminating associated International Direct Dialing (IDD) costs due to high […]
ASUS has released its new Zenbook 14 Flip OLED (UP5401EA) and Vivobook Pro series (N7600/N7400). Pre-orders are available now. The Zenbook 14 Flip OLED (UP5401EA) is a slim, light and ultra-versatile convertible design equipped with a 4K OLED HDR NanoEdge touchscreen, having a 16:10 aspect ratio to give you a bigger visual workspace. The Asus […]
FairMoney Microfinance Bank, a leading fintech firm is currently revotionalizing the digital banking space in Africa. The firm known for its dominance of micro lending in Nigeria has transitioned into a full fledged credit led digital bank. With this new height reached, comes a promise to provide Fair banking for all. FairMoney prides itself as […]
Ensuring that Valentine’s Day fell within ten-day chocolate marketing period may have been a masterstroke for Ghana’s chocolate marketers. But they were also helped because a campaign launched 15 years ago to encourage local consumption of chocolate is beginning to bear fruit. By Zubaida Mabuno Ismail, bird story agency. “I have run out stock of […]
This week on #TwitterNG: Buju changes his name to BNXN (Benson), Blaqbonez shares a video on Twitter revealing his girlfriend to the world and more engaging trends on Twitter this week. For up-to-the-minute updates on trending stories and news, Twitter remains the social media platform that keeps you informed. This week on #TwitterNG is a […]
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Join The Conversation
Bring a friend.