Here’s A Handy Guide For Dealing With Nigerian Tailors

October 19, 2018
Nigerian tailors have been disappointing us since time immemorial. If their sewing machine isn’t bad, their mother is sick or they stole their gen and that’s why your cloth is not ready. If you are tired of Nigerian tailors’ wahala, then this one is for you.

If you need the cloth in two months tell them you need it in two weeks.

By the time you really need your clothes, they’ll be ready.

Always remember that every word that comes out of their mouth is a lie.

If they tell you, you need ten yards that means you need eight.

If they start asking too many questions about the style you want to make that means they can’t sew it. Leave.

No matter how many times they tell you ‘yes ma I can sew it’.

Never use a tailor without a shop or who’s squatting in someone’s shop.

The day you drop your material and a deposit is the last day you’ll see them.

If you are using the tailor for the first time, give them cheap ankara that someone dashed you.

Don’t give them that lace that you bought for 50k. If not your case will be one of had I known.

Don’t give them any breathing space. Sit on their heads.

Call them morning, afternoon and night. If their shop isn’t far pop in every now and then until your cloth is ready.

Don’t collect your cloth on the day you need it.

If it’s not too big, it’ll be too small. Or the jumpsuit you asked for might have turned to gown.

If you need something sewn quickly keep it very simple.

If you give a Nigerian tailor three days to sew agbada with embroidery you won’t like what you’ll collect.

Never ever pay in full, don’t even pay half.

If you do, whatever state your cloth was in when you paid is how it’ll stay until you call police.

If you check in on your tailor and they haven’t even cut your material collect it back and flee.

4 months from now you’ll still be begging for the cloth.

If they disappoint you and break your heart once, treat them like a bad ex and never go back.

What are you still doing with that tailor that didn’t let you wear the asoebi you bought to that wedding? Remember the pain of the small chops tray passing you by because you didn’t wear asoebi? Good hold on to that vex.

Show them no mercy.

If they tell you their mother is sick, they are lying. They got robbed? Lying. Hold their neck and collect your cloth.

Finally, always be wary.

That tailor that hasn’t disappointed you in ten years will do so one day. It’s not their fault it’s just their nature.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 19, 2020

Nigerian traders in Ghana have being complaining of unfair treatment and the forceful closure of their shops in the country. The video above, recorded by a Nigerian trader in Ghana is a good place to begin. For the past few days, Nigerian traders have been appealing to the Nigerian government, claiming that their shops are […]

November 28, 2019

Nigerians can make anything popular; if we all get behind a brand, that brand is made for life. Therefore, it comes as no surprise that some brands are used as a generic term for certain products or services because of how popular they’ve become. Here’s a list of some of them: 1) NEPA: Long before […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

May 17, 2022

Breadcrumbing is the unfair practice of giving just enough attention and affection to someone who cares about you to keep them interested. We rounded up a list of things to look out for in a potential love interest to avoid being breadcrumbed.

Recommended Quizzes

November 12, 2019

Are you a single pringle, stuck in a complicated situationship or happily married to the love of your life? This quiz is here to guess your current relationship status, and as you know, Zikoko quizzes are incredibly accurate (don’t quote us). So, give a shot:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

September 1, 2021

August is over, and here are some of our best quizzes from August. Enjoy: 1. QUIZ: Only Ajebutters Can Get 10/21 On This Quiz Some people like to form ajepako when they’re really ajebutter. Are you one of them? Let’s find out. 2. QUIZ: Sorry, If You’re Under 25 There’s No Way You Can Pass […]

More from General

March 10, 2022

Offers opportunity for young changemakers from Nigeria, Kenya and South Africa to join the Global Citizen Fellowship Program for a year-long, full-Time, paid placement International advocacy organisation Global Citizen has today announced that application for the 2022/23 Global Citizen Fellowship Program powered by BeyGOOD is now open until 29th April 2022. Fifteen young African changemakers: […]

March 8, 2022

Triller, the AI-powered, open garden technology platform for creators, has joined #BreakTheBias, the global campaign in honor of  International Women’s Day (#IWD2022) on Tuesday, 8th March.  All Triller platforms will feature stories from 30 incredible women in the music and entertainment industry who are working to end gender bias, along with a specially curated #BreakTheBias […]

March 4, 2022

In view of the humanitarian crisis in Ukraine, MTN has announced it will be offering free international calls and SMS to all existing prepaid and postpaid customers, effective immediately. This offer is aimed at supporting customers to stay in touch with their loved ones while eliminating associated International Direct Dialing (IDD) costs due to high […]

March 3, 2022

ASUS has released its new Zenbook 14 Flip OLED (UP5401EA) and Vivobook Pro series (N7600/N7400). Pre-orders are available now. The Zenbook 14 Flip OLED (UP5401EA) is a slim, light and ultra-versatile convertible design equipped with a 4K OLED HDR NanoEdge touchscreen, having a 16:10 aspect ratio to give you a bigger visual workspace. The Asus […]

February 26, 2022

FairMoney Microfinance Bank, a leading fintech firm is currently revotionalizing  the digital banking space in Africa. The firm known for its dominance of micro lending in Nigeria has  transitioned into  a full fledged credit led digital bank. With this new height reached, comes a promise to provide Fair banking for all. FairMoney prides itself as […]

Feature image
February 26, 2022

Ensuring that Valentine’s Day fell within ten-day chocolate marketing period may have been a masterstroke for Ghana’s chocolate marketers. But they were also helped because a campaign launched 15 years ago to encourage local consumption of chocolate is beginning to bear fruit. By Zubaida Mabuno Ismail, bird story agency. “I have run out stock of […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X