Happy Independence Day, Nigeria. Regards, 2960

October 1, 2019

The year was 2960.


The country had not yet become a post-apocalyptic wasteland because, at some point, we took climate change seriously. No section of present-day Nigeria had broken off to form a new country. Yes, the unlikely happened. Everyone set aside their differences and came together as a united front. Across the nation, the Nigerian dream meant the same thing.

All was right.

There was time, there was money, and the government cared about history and culture. As part of Nigeria’s 1000th Independence Day celebrations, the government greenlit a project that would require digging into the country’s archives so a documentary could be made about the millennium that had passed since we sent the Brits packing.

Oh, what a project it was. The people involved had a field day with the archival materials they found. They made a film packed with all the things that made a film great – laughter, tears, and WTF moments. The WTF moments were very popular among the audience. Nigeria in 2960 had everything but drama – at least not on the ridiculous scale the country did in earlier times depicted in the film. They found a particular set of characters interesting: the lawmakers.

In preparation for a sequel, they needed feedback after the screening of the documentary. So they put out a survey to get the parts of the film the audience liked best. And unsurprisingly, the audience was unanimous in its response. They all wanted to see more of the WTF moments. 

The following moments ranked as the top three moments in the film:

1) The Fence-Scaling Lawmakers (2014)

Insanely absurd and ridiculous, the audience wondered how much of a joke politics was at the time if security forces could be deployed to prevent senators from accessing the House of Assembly building where they worked. Even more insane to the 2096 audience was how the senators proceeded to jump the fence, as opposed to returning to their homes and dealing with things in a more respectable manner.

2) The Mace-Stealing Senator (2018)

The audience demanded that this particular event get a prequel showing the domino-like series of events that led to it. You see, in 2960, the mace was regarded as a sacred symbol of authority. So the film’s viewers were gobsmacked to find out that back in 2018, a lawmaker masterminded an operation that resulted in the mace being stolen. Then again, his name was Omo-Agege. He was just living up to his name.

3) Dino Melaye (The Myth. The Legend): 

The 2096 audience LOVED this guy. He was the one dependable source of comic relief throughout the film. Along with being a terrible lawmaker, he was a perfect entertainer; he could dance and sing. They could handle his attempt at writing a book about fighting corruption. They could even handle the certificate scandals. However, the one thing they couldn’t handle was when he was hit with multiple charges and was suddenly with a crippling illness. The audience found the timing of the illness interesting. If it actually mattered, they would have agreed that the whole thing was a sham.

They could all agree on one thing, though. The country’s early lawmakers were the literal worst, especially within the first 60 years of independence.

Toheeb Lanlehin

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

January 29, 2020

If you attended secondary school in Nigeria, you definitely came across people that made you feel like they had 7 heads, while you were sharing half a brain with three other people. They could do everything – get straight As, do sports, play the trumpet and roll around with the cool kids. The tension was […]

October 17, 2020

Although non-members of the LGBTQ+ community are harassed when profiled as “gay”, a lot of people believe that the QueerNigerianLivesMatter hashtag is unnecessary. Members of the LGBTQ+ community, like many Nigerians, are fighting for their right to exist. They are victims of police brutality. So, we spoke to some queer Nigerian protesters to tell us […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

July 27, 2021

Smartphone brand, TECNO, has just received the 2021 Beacon of Information and Communications Technology (BoICT) Award for “Mobile Phone Brand of the Year”. This will make it the second time the brand will be getting this recognition after it did in 2020. This achievement reaffirms TECNO’s innovative capabilities as a leader in the mobile phone […]

July 26, 2021

If making money on your own has proved futile, then maybe it’s time to find money other people are not using urgently. Please, pay attention, these are multi-billion dollars tips. 1. Go to Agent Fash Seek out Agent Fashola for special tutorials in the art of finding ‘The Unseen.’ 2. Pray and fast If flesh […]

July 26, 2021

Evil Nigerian women are like little devils, roaming around, looking for whom to devour. Thanks to Momsy’s prayers, you have managed not to fall into the grasp of evil Nigerian women. If you have, my condolences to you. May affliction not rise a second time. If it had already risen a second time, you need […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 14, 2019

The fourth season of Big Brother Naija came to an end over a month ago, but the conversation surrounding the housemates is far from over. So, in a bid to keep the fire burning, we decided to create a quiz that tells you which famous member of the ‘Pepper Dem’ gang is your soulmate. Take […]

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

More from General

July 15, 2021

The University authorities released a statement addressing the rise of Covid-19 cases in UNILAG on Tuesday after this tweet was made. Huh ??? Covid outbreak in Unilag  ??? https://t.co/LbH5Xv3nM7 – Jahmal (@JahmalUsen) July 12. 2021 The statement reads, Read more here. School activities were going on as normal, even after several Covid-19 positive students were […]

July 15, 2021

What do you do before you breakup with someone? Well, you should try out any of these seven things. 1) Eat A hungry man is an angry man. So sometimes the reason you want to break up with your partner is because you’ve not had some good food in a while. Before you type that […]

June 11, 2021

After refusing to accept his sexuality in Nigeria, today’s subject on Abroad Life moved to the US in 2015. He talks about how his relationship with God, his parents and church members made him realise that he had to accept his sexuality.  When did you decide that you were going to move to the US? […]

February 19, 2021

Last weekend was truly a celebration of love as Union Bank x BellaNaija Weddings made dreams come true with a free surprise proposal for one couple and an all-expenses-paid wedding for another couple!  And just like that. Notey Akpotive and Obiora Chibuzor are now onestep closer to their happily ever after, thanks to Union Bank x BellaNaija Weddings […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X