Getting married is a beautiful experience. And getting ready to live the rest of your life with the one you love is exhilarating. But because we Nigerians are the way we are getting married here is a pretty unique experience compared with the rest of the world.
You’ll find that everyone from your security guard to your oga at work has some advice to give you on married life.
Trust us there’s nothing you won’t hear in your first year of marriage.
Your single friends will stop inviting you for rocks the way the used to before.
I got married I didn’t get sent to jail now.
If you get married to a foreigner just brace yourself for all the jokes about you marrying for green card.
As if that’s not a valid reason for someone to marry. But it’s not us that told you.
The day after your wedding day everyone is going to start asking you when the kids will come.
As if children automatically come with marriage certificate.
You’ll spend a significant amount of your first year of marriage apologizing to people that didn’t get invited to the wedding when you run into them.
You’ll still apologize again when you have your first kid and don’t invite them for naming ceremony.
Living with the one you love will take some getting used to. And you’ll get annoyed very many times.
Imagine finding out that the person you are married to is one of those people that don’t know how to share duvet.
This is how you react when people expect you to start doing ‘couple’ things right of the bat.
An usher in church will come and ask you and your partner if everything is ok at home because you guys didn’t wear and co to church.
You’ll be so confused the very first time your partner has to leave you alone for a couple of days.
5 days will feel like 5 years.
You can’t understand why people keep telling you that you guys are in a honeymoon phase and that it won’t last.
Do you mean us well ni?
When you gain a little weight because of marriage enjoyment and everyone starts assuming you are pregnant.
It’s not pregnancy o married life is just sweet.
If you make the mistake of going anywhere alone everyone will ask you where is Oga or Madam.
Please, we are not conjoined twins. Behave.
You’ll hate sharing a bathroom with your partner as much as you love them.
If someone isn’t leaving hair and makeup everywhere, someone else will keep leaving the toilet seat up.
Nothing beats coming home to a warm body to cuddle with after a long day of work.
Anyone who tells you marriage is not sweet is lying to you.
Some of your in-laws will get on your nerves it’s unavoidable.
But you won’t die.
Some people will never let you forget you are married. They’ll even tell you that you are not acting married enough.
First of all my name is not Mrs. And how does one even act married?
The subject of today’s What She Said is a 19-year-old who blames her dad’s ill-treatment for her attraction to older men. She talks about finding out he was cheating, growing up very poor, and her dad’s financial abuse.
“The only side effects I am wary of are reduced libido and testosterone. Age will eventually get me there. Why should I now take a pill to hasten doomsday? I no dey do.”
After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:
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What do you do before you breakup with someone? Well, you should try out any of these seven things. 1) Eat A hungry man is an angry man. So sometimes the reason you want to break up with your partner is because you’ve not had some good food in a while. Before you type that […]
“OMG, I love Zikoko.” We hate to break it to you, but only the true lovers of Zikoko can score 10 out of 10 on this quiz. We’ll definitely catch you here if you’ve been trying to scope us all the while. Oya take the quiz. Psst! Did you know you can contribute as low […]
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What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
Z! Stacks
Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
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