My Horrible Rub And Shine Experience In Secondary School

October 11, 2016

1. So after forming bad guy for me, my secondary school crush finally talked to me.

Finally!

2. I was watching him play deliciously on the basketball field and the ball got thrown towards me.

Freshest boy in school.

3. His voice when he said ‘please throw the ball here’ was so full of promises.

My heart!

4. So I decided that night I’d package myself well for the next day.

Taking it to the next level.

5. But first, I had to get 4 buckets of bath water for that extra shine.

Because I have to look popping.

6. But when I got to the tap, I met like 100 other people.

What is this one?

7. I now spotted many wicked seniors who must have been slave traders in their past lives.

Very wicked people!

8. As I turned to run, one of them saw me. Brethren it was a sad day.

Why are these seniors unfortunate like this?

9. After I had carried plenty buckets for the senior, I managed to get one bucket of water that I could jejely manage.

This life!

10. I padlocked the water under my bed and had my beauty sleep for my crush.

Let me prepare myself for slay.

11. I now woke up late because I was dreaming of this boy! I pulled out my bucket to bath and it was…empty!

My enemies are at work o!

12. I now had to start begging for one bowl of water from my friends to bathe.

Help my situation, abeg.

13. As it was almost time for breakfast, I ran outside to sharply have my bath.

Before house mistress brings her wahala.

14. You see, it was harmattan season, so the water was basically iced water!

Unfortunate weather.

15. After shaking for like 50 mins, I finally started doing my rub and shine. That’s how I saw the house mistress coming.

I’m finished today.

16. See, I don’t even remember how I flew inside the hostel with soap on my body.

Who wants to be expelled?

17. And me, I will never use that dirty place they called a bathroom.

God forbid!

18. Long story short, I had to wipe my soapy body with towel like that o!

A shameful experience, indeed.

19. As I was wearing my uniform they started shouting ‘Out of the hostel!’.

I’m in soup o!

20. I couldn’t even use my vaseline and ended up looking like:

No  more slay.

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