5 Things People Who Fear/Hate Dogs Will Find Relatable

October 28, 2019

You’ve tried to like them, or at least, you’ve tried to be comfortable around them, but something about what many people think are cute pets puts you on an automatic lets-know-what-we’re-doing mode. I get this, which is why I decided to write about your (probable) experience with the so-called man best friend.

The first question you ask anyone in a house you’ve never been is if they have dogs

Celebrity Big Brother Bbceleb GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

You hate surprises, especially when they come in the shapes of dogs. You ask the questions in the hope that the answer will be no. and if it is yes, the dog or dogs better be chained.

You are not ashamed to use humans as shields against them

Usually, when you see a dog coming in your direction, you scout for the nearest and quickest exits. But this is something you can’t do if you’re with someone, especially if they see them for only the harmless pets that they are. So, you do the next best thing to do – you hide behind them and let them guide you out of the bleak situation.

The only thing you hate more than dogs is people who try to convince you that they don’t bite

Sunova Screw You GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

You can tolerate that some of your friends loves dogs and even keep them. Where you draw the line is the moment they invite you to pet them because they don’t bite. You try to remain calm and keep all the vileness building in you inside, but you’re already thinking if that is the last time you will be seeing them.

You think every dog that so much as bark at you is out to get you

As far as you are concerned, dogs only bark when they see a new target who could be their next meal depending on how fast the victim can run. So yes, just a bark is enough to unlock the sprinter in you.

You promise to get over yourself but you also know that’s never going to happen

You’ve tried to grow to be more confident around dogs, but the sight of one 50 metres away revert you to the person you are. You’ve given up on every possibility that they may not be dangerous as everyone likes to tell you. As long as they have fangs, and could infect you with rabies, you can never be cool with them.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

May 24, 2019

We live in a time where a quick Google search will give you access to recipes from world-class chefs. Despite this, on the rare occasion, I find myself cooking, and on the rarer occasion, it’s not Indomie, my first port of call for guidance is my mum. Who’s always laden with (often unsolicited) tips and […]

August 6, 2018

If you have Nigerian parents like mine, asking for money was most likely a grueling and almost terrifying task. You try to prepare and brace yourself ahead of time, but the where, when, why and how combo will always leave you stunned. Here’s a few of their excuses! As you’re there shivering, they’ll just be […]

November 4, 2019

Bella Alubo — “Kolombi” ft. Mr Eazi Last Friday, the versatile Bella Alubo dropped her star-studded EP, Summer’s Over. While the entire project is overflowing with impressively written and confidently performed bops, it’s the Mr Eazi-assisted “Kolombi” that stands out the most.  On the sultry, GuiltyBeatz-produced banger, Bella shines, singing about a partner she has […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

December 6, 2022

The Nigerian Voter is a series that seeks to understand the motivations that drive the voting decisions of Nigerians — why they vote, how they choose their candidates, why some have never voted, and their wildest stories around elections. This week’s subject of The Nigerian Voter is Umar, a tech freelancer in his early twenties […]

December 6, 2022

The Socio-Economic Rights and Accountability Project (SERAP) has a track record of suing Buhari every three market days. The organisation has dragged the president to court over the embezzlement of ₦1.4 trillion meant for oil refineries, and for his failure to publish the repatriation details of Abacha’s $23 million loot, amongst others. The list of […]

Recommended Quizzes

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

More from General

November 11, 2022

We know a lot of things are happening right now but let’s not forget that millions of Nigerians are still suffering the effects of flooding. Although coverage of the issue has reduced, it’s important that we keep in mind that a large part of over 30 Nigerian states are under water.  This is not just […]

May 2, 2022

Windows 10 Activator [KMSpico] Free Download Latest Download Download Official Website Windows 10 Activator Latest Free Download Windows Activator Kit provides an All-in-One Windows 10 Activator for free to Activate your version of Windows legally. Just click the button below and get your copy of Windows Activator right now. Download Download From official website Windows […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X