Is Kneeling The New Twale?

November 22, 2019

This is Zikoko’s Game of Votes Weekly Dispatch. We share the most important things that happen in Nigeria every week. 5pm Thursdays. Stay woke. 



Beggi Beggi, E No Good O 

Who knew Yahaya Bello, governor of Kogi State, was so influential? He definitely yields some kind of power over the who’s who in Nigerian politics if a whole Madame First Lady, Aisha Buhari, and Nasir El Rufai, Kaduna State Governor, can kneel in front of residents of Kogi state during a campaign on his behalf, begging them to vote him in for his second term as governor. 

Where did this happen?

Their theatre performance held at the Confluence Stadium in Lokoja, in front of a teeming crowd and an intrigued audience. We were intrigued when we heard that the hardcore El-Rufai fell on his knees, telling everyone to disregard the fact that Bello didn’t do anything worthwhile in his state during his first term. 

Even more ridiculous was the fact that El-Rufai deemed it reasonable to blame Yahaya Bello’s failings on his youth, stating that everyone should forgive him for his bad governance: “For every one that the governor has offended, I’m asking all of you to forgive him. He is young; he is supposed to make mistakes. When you are young, you make mistakes but you learn from them.”

Hmmm, colour us shocked that El-Rufai took a cue from Daddy Bubu with a spinoff of the lazy Nigeria youths mantra as if that’s a good enough excuse for Governor Bello’s ineptitude and nonpayment of salaries.

And Where Was Yahaya Bello While This Was Happening?

Right beside the two jokers grinning from ear to ear, probably thinking up ways to spend that N10 billion that was approved by the Senate two days to the Kogi state elections; budget padding things.


Nothing New, Just Election Insecurity Here And There 

Bayelsa and Kogi state held their gubernatorial election on Saturday, and as usual, mayhem and hell broke loose on election day. What would Nigeria be if thugs don’t appear to snatch ballot boxes and disrupt every electoral proceeding, basically spitting in the face of INEC?  

Okay, Seriously, What’s New?

Amid all the sporadic shootings and killings in the rerun senatorial elections in Kogi, Dino Melaye’s stated that his nephew got killed by a policeman’s bullet. Is this true or not? We’re not sure; it came from the horse’s mouth, so even though we take everything Melaye says with a pinch of salt we’re trying to believe that he wouldn’t joke about something so serious, least of all try to use it for political clout.

Meanwhile…

Meanwhile, Goodluck Jonathan was hella upset with members of his political party because of his alleged disagreement with the ex-governor of Bayelsa State, Seriake Dickson, over PDP’s decision to have Douye Diri run as the candidate for the Bayelsa State governor race.

The tea is that Goodluck Jonathan didn’t throw his weight behind Douye Diri; he didn’t lift a finger to support that poor man’s campaign, subtly giving APC a chance to become the ruling party in Bayelsa for the first time in history. The beef must have been strong for Daddy Jonah to quietly sabotage his party because of personal grievances, hope this won’t come back to bite him in the ass sha.



DID YOU MISS THIS?

  1. Bukola Dakolo’s case was dismissed by Justice Oathman A. Musa, who said that she was “insensitive” to the court of law and totally “sentimental”; Timi Dakolo had a lot to say about that matter.
  2. The African giant is taking over the world! On the heels of his expected trip to South Africa, after saying he’ll NEVER go back there, Burna Boy gets nominated for the GRAMMYS baby! 

NOT.THE.NEWS

Do you remember all the drama that Nigerian politicians have engaged in throughout the years? Do you even recall the name Dimeji Bankole? Well, since the 2010s are wrapping up we decided to create a list of some of the biggest political scandals Nigerians have been forced to experience by our craziest leaders.

Our fellas are still on the Jollof Road chopping the life of their heads but they’ve finally given a hint that all might not be as rosy as we thought on this road trip. Regardless of that though, we still believe they’re living the best life right now, at least they get to see all of West Africa while we are stuck here in Lagos traffic.


Ministry is moving

The dispatch is growing. If you enjoyed reading this, share this with someone, you hear?

Are you subscribed to our political newsletter Game of Votes? You should be subscribed to our political newsletter, Game of Votes. Here’s a link to subscribe if you’re not.

We tell you the most important things that happened in Nigeria, during the week, in a way that won’t bore you to death.

Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

May 4, 2020

Over the last few days, Kano State in Northern Nigeria has been thrown repeatedly, into the throes of mourning. The latest loss is the life of Alhaji Tafida Abubakar, the Emir of the newly created Rano Emirate. He was 74 years old. What led to the death of the Emir of Rano? While the passing […]

September 8, 2020

Imagine my surprise when I opened Twitter on Sunday night, only to realise that fans of Erica were donating money to a GoFundMe account opened on her behalf after she was disqualified from the Big Brother Naija show.  And they were not sending this woman money in naira. They were doing it in – wait […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

April 10, 2021

With almost two years of being in existence, Sex Life has grown while staying true to its goal of exploring the sex lives of Nigerians. In the last one year and five months since Sex Life was created, we’ve spoken to about eighty Nigerians who are at different places in their lives, with different orintentations, […]

prayer house
April 10, 2021

As told to Mariam I travelled to Ilorin for an exam last week and on the bus, I rode in, I met Yoma*. Somehow the conversation of faith came up, and she told me she didn’t subscribe to the Christianity practised in churches. When I asked why, this is what she told me: I grew […]

April 9, 2021

You’re at a job interview, answering all the questions and feeling yourself when the one person that hasn’t spoken throughout the meeting suddenly asks, “Why should we hire you?” If you’ve ever been in this situation and you didn’t know what to say, we’re sorry we didn’t write this earlier. Here are some of the […]

April 9, 2021

If you have ever considered getting into spoken word poetry and you did not know how to go about it, we are here for you. Just remember us when you blow. 1) Use burial music There is no spoken word performance without proper burial music. You might try to switch it up and use church […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

More from Citizen

April 2, 2021

Today’s subject on Abroad Life started her process to leave Nigeria for the USA for school in 2017 and didn’t leave until two months ago. She talks about how money, COVID and visa problems delayed her travel plans. She also talks about arriving in the USA in the middle of a polar vortex and having […]

March 22, 2021

Victor Emmanuel is a queer Nigerian YouTuber with simple demands: He wants the Nigerian Government to repeal the Same Sex Marriage Prohibition Act (SSMPA). On March 20, 2021, Victor published a video on Twitter, explaining the reason for his decision. He made it clear that he was going on a hunger strike until the SSMPA […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X