Here Are Some of The Wildest Things That Happened On The Road To The 2019 Elections.

February 15, 2019

Buhari Actually Running.

I mean, this was more disappointing than surprising, but as someone who takes promises with the reverence of a holy house, I’d say it was still pretty annoying.

After playing it out to read like he wouldn’t need a second term after winning because of how severely he would F shit up, our dear president did a 360 and went on to run. It is well sha.

73 People Contesting The Presidency.

We don’t know who vexed Nigerians, okay we do, but last year, eyes turned red. Popping out of every crevice and woodwork was a person who thought they could do a better job at president-ing than the man currently at the helm of affairs. So much so, we ended up with a grand total of 73 people running for the for the post of president.

Sowore The Plug.

Running for presdient and educating NIgerians one bud at a time, Yele Sowore let us know where to hit up should we ever need the loudest herb in Nigeria – and it’s on Ekiti state apparently.

He let us know the export potential of this commodity and how his government would capitalise on its potency.

Can somebody please remind him, we’re a largely pretentious and conservative society? Thanks dear.

Father Oshiomole.

While welcoming the newly defected members of the APC, an event which got press coverage by the way, Oshiomole made his secret life as a Nigerian political priest known, when he sanctioned the new life of APC members; informing them that “all sins were forgiven” once they joined the APC.

Must be nice to have a clean slate, anyone know if he can make GPAs start afresh? Asking for the newly not striking Uni students, who have probably forgotten everything but their matriculation numbers.

Buhari’s… Incidents.

Buhari had a bit of a wild ride this election cycle.

He raised the wrong hands, pretended to write down questions and actually named someone else president.

Plus, he’s staring octogenarian life, square in the face should he win the elections.

The more we think about it, what wasn’t wild about Buhari’s campaign for the 2019 elections?

Ambode Continuing His Speech Even When The Rally Was Getting Shot Up.

Not sure if we should have counted this as a cry for help, but Ambode continuing to read out his prepared speech at a rally where someone was literally getting stabbed, with gunshots were blaring and police coming to ransack the place, was definitely top 10 of the wildest things that happened during the election campaign season.

But it’s almost understandable. After all, he was speaking at a rally for the people of Lagos to vote in the guy to replace him as governor. Someone he once called a junkie, incompetent candidate, in fewer words of course.

Osibanjo Getting Into A Helicopter Crash And Powering Through Like Nothing Happened?

Thinking about this still does my head in.

While heading to a campaign rally in Kogi, the helicopter parading our dear vice-president crash-landed, but luckily experienced no fatalities.

But if the vice-president escaping a near-fatal crash wasn’t wild enough — he picked up and carried on campaigning like he had merely survived a tiny bout of car sickness.

What is this unmatched APC zeal to win the elections?

Donald Duke And All The Drama.

Looking for who had the most dramatic campaign season? Cast your eyes to Donald Duke, who — after having won the primaries for the SDP fair and square, Duke had his candidacy revoked on a technicality. He then got his candidacy re-instated, only to have his party dump him for the current president of Nigeria.

We wouldn’t wish this emotional roller-coaster on the lady that consistently supplies our office with hard ponmo at lunch.

Atiku Stunting On The Gram With His Visa.

Atiku

Fulfilling the dreams of many Nigerians before him, Atiku finally got to visit America after about 13 years away.

This was newsworthy because corruption charges against him in the US, could have had him feeling cuffs around his wrist before having the chance to take a first selfie in the abroad.

But what is really wild is, that special visa? It just might have been a temporary waiver to enter the US. Hope he got all his shopping done. Welp.

PVC Struggles.

Some people are having a super unhealthy attachment to this election of a thing, so much so; they’re ready to have PVCs and INEC offices burnt, rather than lose the elections.

It is never that deep guy. Please stop turning the PVCs into barbeque, plastic really doesn’t taste good.

El Rufai’s Threats.

For some reason, El Rufai thought it would be a good idea to threaten countries with army bases, actually equipped for wars – clothing and artillery included.

While speaking on election interference from the US, UK and The EU, he threatened to have the bodies of any smack-talkers from the afore mentioned nations returned to their home countries.

Please don’t put us in trouble oh, nobody sent you this wor. Please dear.

A Whole Party Got Disqualified.

The APC section of the APC is filled with a lot of messy drama. So much so, INEC had every one of its members running for office disqualified.

SO that’s anyone from the APC running for governor, Senate, local government, everything disqualified.

Life is tough oh.

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