Lagos traffic provides us with refreshments and everyday items like handkerchiefs, plantain chips, etc. But you don’t appreciate this. Whether you believe it or not, before 2030, Lagos traffic will become a proper avenue where you can get everything you need. We are a part of this great remake of Lagos traffic, and we came up with a list of things that should be sold in Lagos traffic.
1. Wedding gowns.
Imagine you meet the love of your life on the bus and suddenly your body is doing you to tie the knot? You can simply call a wedding gown hawker in Lagos traffic, tell him/her your size, and they will pass you the dress through the window. C’est finis.
2. Canadian visa.
Have you ever been stuck in traffic where you become tired of Nigeria? You have? Good! Now, instead of going to shed tears or pray for visa, you can just call the visa hawker and buy a Canadian visa. When the bus drops you, you’ll simply enter the plane to Canada and live your abroad life.
3. Life partners.
Imagine if you could buy the love of your life in traffic? Anytime your parents shout and tell you to not come back into the house without a life partner, you can just vex and tell them, “Let me get to Oshodi, I will buy my life partner with my own money!”
4. A house.
Just imagine purchasing your house in traffic. Easier than online shopping o. What you see is what you get. You just call that man hawking a self-contain, and as the bus moves slowly, you discuss price. We’re yet to figure out how the logistics of this will work, but don’t worry, our developers are working on a tight idea.
5. University certificates.
You’re a busy person who needs a degree or do you just hate going to school? Imagine if you could buy your certificate while you’re in a bus heading to Maryland or Iju Ishaga? You’ll just beckon on the hawker and ask, “You dey sell certificate for Agriculture?” and the hawker will answer, “Yes, I get. I even get certificate for Law if you wan buy. Shey na first class you want abi second class upper?”
6. Spare parents.
What if you could buy a new set of parents if your old ones are stressing you out? Just imagine it. You’ll have the power, and if your mother or father talks bad to you, you can always tell them, “If you’re not careful, I will buy another father when I go out today.” They will keep shut immediately.
7. Common sense.
The best part of this is that you can actually buy as a gift for someone who needs it. So when the person starts talking sense, you can proudly say, “This common sense I bought for you is working, can you see?”
Don’t doubt us, dears. Even Sanwo-Olu is amazed at our brilliant ideas. He will soon point at us, you’ll see.