You probably know them as call centre agents. But being the Nigerian that I am, they are customer care agents to me. They pick my calls when I call the network to fight, and after several years of calling and meeting with very little satisfaction, I have decided to go public with my vexation.

It’s fight I came to fight.

1. When they say, “Your call has been assigned to an agent and you will be attended to shortly.”

But it still takes them 8 hours, 291 ads, 30 minutes of uninterrupted music before answering you. Foken liars.

2. Honestly, we need some customer care agents to stop acting rudely to customers.

Yes, I am calling to complain about N100 airtime, dear, and I deserve to be respected.

3. “Your query has been received and acted upon.”

When in actual sense, the problem is still waiting for you to drop the call so it can continue.

4. “HellogoodafternoonwelcometoournetworkmynameisKayanMatahowmayIhelpyoutoday?”

You get the drift: some customer care agents should stop speaking like they have hot yam in their mouth. Will your credit waste if you talk small-small?

5. “Thank you for choosing our network, do have a lovely day.”

Seeing how your network has robbed me blind and deprived me of certain funds and savings, I’d prefer for both of us not to have a lovely day, please. Don’t patronise me that way. I’m in the mood to fight.

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