A Day In The Life Of My Sleep Paralysis Demon

April 24, 2020

A day in the life is a one-off Zikoko entry that chronicles what it means to hustle in Nigeria. Especially in professions that are misunderstood. Professions like witchcraft, sleep paralysis demons. We hope to understand what goes on behind the scenes.


The subject for today is my sleep paralysis demon who tells me about the misconceptions that come with the work.

7:00 am:

I wake up late today. I spent the night checking on people to make sure that they weren’t dying in their sleep. And what did I get? people binding and casting me with the blood of Jesus. I don’t get it. I am literally there to prevent you from passing in your sleep and you are calling Jesus. Ontop ordinary “are you fine?” It’s baffling. Anyhow, I understand that this is a thankless job, but someone must do it. It won’t hurt for someone to thank me still. Human beings are just too rude.

I don’t want to think about it. I pick up my phone and I go to Zikoko.com to laugh away my sorrows.

12:00 pm:

A new roaster is out. Ramadan has started so I can’t check on Muslim clients again. They will be awake during my peak hours. My best friend is a Muslim. It’s sad that I can’t meet his family because they will never accept me for who I am. If only they know who their son truly is. Oh, the stories I have.

One time, a girl asked him to choke her. Obviously, Mr. Goody little shoes could not, so I had to step in. He instructed her to turn off the lights and we swapped places. Even with my super boost and greater hardening, this girl was still not satisfied. The scariest thing that can happen on this job is getting a human being that actually enjoys choking. Nigerians are crazy with their sufferhead.

sleep paralysis demon

Another time, he sent me to threaten his boss over a salary raise. It turned out that his boss was super horny so we made out. That was nice. He got his raise but till today, he doesn’t know the details of what happened.

I lost out because his boss stopped replying my messages. Another person who just couldn’t stand to be seen with me in the day. I may be a demon on the streets, but I am a lover in the sheets.

6:00 pm.

I don’t know how long I can keep doing this job. I want to retire one of these days and maybe fall in love. After a point, it gets tiring to see people either scared of you or make you some weird object of their sexual fantasy. I just want people to look at me and smile. Is that too much to ask?

When I start to think like this, I get sad. I hope I find love some day. Love that is wholesome and active as there can be no bystander in love.

I shake off these thoughts. I have to sleep now because I am going to work at midnight. Sometimes, I wonder if my own sleep paralysis demon feels a type of way. I’ll strike up a conversation today.

sleep paralysis demon

I fall asleep thinking of better days. At midnight, I’ll start the cycle all over again.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 26, 2019

All Nigerians are the same. There might be several ethnic groups and religions between us, but there are certain attributes we all share that make us similar. It’s even worse when you’re a Nigerian parent. We’ve concluded that there must be a school everyone goes to learn how to “parent” before they have children and […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X