The general knowledge is to always have a circle of friends you trust with your life. We agree with this, but while you are trusting those friends, it is always important to take note of these types of friends and fear them with all your life.
1. Friends that will screw you over and say it’s nothing personal.
Imagine having a friend that will confess to your boyfriend that you have a sugar daddy and still come to tell you that it’s not personal. Hmm, a friend that will deprive me of my livelihood, Jehovah please separate us.
2. Friends that promise you money and trips but never come through.
If that friend promises you money and a trip to Abuja or Dubai but have failed to fulfil these promises, then it’s your cue to flee. It’s better to visit Iyana Ipaja for excursion than to rely on the Dubai promises of a friend who will not even let you smell the airport.
3. Friends that smile in your front but try to kiss your partner behind your back.
You shouldn’t even need to be told this one. Unless threesomes are your thing, though.
4. Friends who want you to inherit their enemies.
This can be viewed from different angles, but if you are okay with being enemies with someone just because your friend tells you to be an enemy to them, then…
5. Friends who put too much pepper in their food so you won’t eat because they know you have an ulcer.
This friend probably wants to inherit your underwear and their game plan is to starve you to death. Fear them.
6. Friends who won’t respond to your comments on social media.
A lot of you will probably say something like, “Oh, my friend is just reserved.” Sure, they are reserved, that’s why they are reserving your comments and replying to everyone else. Okay oh. We too, we comment our reserve.
7. Friends who won’t give you at least 10% of their salary.
That person wants you to die in poverty. You better leave them and find someone else before you collapse.
8. Friends who won’t let you sell their kidney to pay for an iPhone.
Are they really your friend if they won’t let you enjoy luxury paid for by their internal organs?
9. Friends who are likely to move to your partner.
While you are breaking up with that friend, please make sure you break up with that partner too sha, because if they can move to your friend, then what is the assurance that they won’t also move to outsiders?
Help Zikoko keep making the content you love
More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.
Thank you for your support.
We are also cool with Crypto.