If you’re serious about moving to Canada this year, you need to start getting ready. Moving to second Nigeria Canada is not for the unprepared, so here are eight things you need to start doing from today.
1. Stop eating Nigerian food
If you’re truly ready to go to your real country, you’ll stop eating semo, fufu and amala every day. Let’s be real: You won’t find amala on every corner you turn when you get to Canada. Start by eating poutine and casually licking maple syrup.
2. Stand in front of your AC every day
This oga has the right idea. If you to take it a step further, let a fan be blowing you and be chewing ice cubes. If you can survive two hours of this exercise, check your mail, your Canadian visa is ready.
3. Sometimes, try to stay inside the freezer
This one might be a bit extreme, but if you’ve heard the stories of Nigerians in Canada, and you’re serious about your japa plans, you’ll do it. You can never be too prepared.
4. Stop asking conductors for your change
If you know about Canada and Canadians, you’ll know that they’re the nicest people ever. You cannot carry your agbero attitude to Canada, my dear.
Stop fighting conductors for change. If they don’t want to give you, tell them “Oy, don’t worry, man” and walk away. If someone bashes your car in traffic, don’t get angry. Just move on.
5. Act shocked when you receive a hospital bill
Healthcare is free in Canada, so you must act shocked whenever you go to a hospital and they charge you. Call the manager and demand an explanation as to why you’re receiving a bill because where you’re from, all these things are free. Fake it till you make it.
6. Scream when NEPA takes light
Whenever NEPA takes light, act like you’re about to lose your mind. Keep screaming bloody murder like you don’t understand what is going on. Darkness? What is that? Please, someone should call the authorities and have this fixed ASAP.
7. Start wearing plenty coats
Change your dressing style to winter fashion. You need to get used to dressing with many layers of clothing. Nigerian sun is burning you? Don’t worry, it will all pay off in the end.
8. Add the maple emoji leaf to your bio
If at this point, the maple leaf is not in your bio, you’re not ready.
