8 Things Every Nigerian Needs To Do To Prepare For Canada

January 17, 2021

If you’re serious about moving to Canada this year, you need to start getting ready. Moving to second Nigeria Canada is not for the unprepared, so here are eight things you need to start doing from today.

1. Stop eating Nigerian food

If you’re truly ready to go to your real country, you’ll stop eating semo, fufu and amala every day. Let’s be real: You won’t find amala on every corner you turn when you get to Canada. Start by eating poutine and casually licking maple syrup.

2. Stand in front of your AC every day

This oga has the right idea. If you to take it a step further, let a fan be blowing you and be chewing ice cubes. If you can survive two hours of this exercise, check your mail, your Canadian visa is ready.

3. Sometimes, try to stay inside the freezer

Houston Man Found Dead After Sleeping In Deep Freezer After His Air Broke

This one might be a bit extreme, but if you’ve heard the stories of Nigerians in Canada, and you’re serious about your japa plans, you’ll do it. You can never be too prepared.

4. Stop asking conductors for your change

If you know about Canada and Canadians, you’ll know that they’re the nicest people ever. You cannot carry your agbero attitude to Canada, my dear.

Stop fighting conductors for change. If they don’t want to give you, tell them “Oy, don’t worry, man” and walk away. If someone bashes your car in traffic, don’t get angry. Just move on.

5. Act shocked when you receive a hospital bill

Healthcare is free in Canada, so you must act shocked whenever you go to a hospital and they charge you. Call the manager and demand an explanation as to why you’re receiving a bill because where you’re from, all these things are free. Fake it till you make it.

6. Scream when NEPA takes light

Whenever NEPA takes light, act like you’re about to lose your mind. Keep screaming bloody murder like you don’t understand what is going on. Darkness? What is that? Please, someone should call the authorities and have this fixed ASAP.

7. Start wearing plenty coats

Change your dressing style to winter fashion. You need to get used to dressing with many layers of clothing. Nigerian sun is burning you? Don’t worry, it will all pay off in the end.

8. Add the maple emoji leaf to your bio

If at this point, the maple leaf is not in your bio, you’re not ready.


Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

David Odunlami

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

March 3, 2021

First, we thought, if Nigerian musicians had side hustles, what would they do? Now, we’re asking, “if Bible characters had side hustles, what would they do?” Here’s what we have: 1. Moses- Fitness trainer You can’t go far in the book of Exodus without seeing that Oga Moses has climbed mountain again. He first led […]

March 3, 2021

The dating scene Is a messy place and everyone has their spec. If you haven’t figured out what works for you, we’ve been generous enough to make a list. 1. People that have money  Money makes romance sweeter, to be honest. People will probably call you a gold-digger, but is it their gold you are […]

Recommended Quizzes

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

More from Inside Life

March 3, 2021

First, we thought, if Nigerian musicians had side hustles, what would they do? Now, we’re asking, “if Bible characters had side hustles, what would they do?” Here’s what we have: 1. Moses- Fitness trainer You can’t go far in the book of Exodus without seeing that Oga Moses has climbed mountain again. He first led […]

March 3, 2021

The dating scene Is a messy place and everyone has their spec. If you haven’t figured out what works for you, we’ve been generous enough to make a list. 1. People that have money  Money makes romance sweeter, to be honest. People will probably call you a gold-digger, but is it their gold you are […]

March 2, 2021

Nigerian mums are some of the most special women in the world, and in honour of women’s month, we will be sharing some surprising and confusing behaviours a lot of them exhibit. If your mum does none of the things in this list, give a double offering in church on Sunday. No one: Nigerian mothers […]

March 2, 2021

I found myself going down a rabbit hole of cheesy pick-up lines a few hours ago and a lot of them made me chuckle. So I asked myself, “Are pick-up lines really as bad as people make them seem, or are we just ashamed to admit that we like them and we want people to […]

March 2, 2021

Being a child in a Nigerian family can be difficult enough as it is, but what happened when you have no siblings and you’re the only one? These ten Nigerians share what it’s like being an only child. Amaka, 24 It can be really boring, stifling and hectic all at the same time. Being an […]

March 1, 2021

All your friends are in love, and you are part of the ‘’God when’’ association wondering when you will get your own boo. We are sorry to break it to you that you may never find love due to the reasons stated below. 1. You are best in English Anyone who mistakenly sends you a […]

March 1, 2021

Do you know what one of the most awkward things in the world is? Your friend comes up to you, handing you their phone to listen to their music while smiling hard, their eyes filled with hope and love so you listen but realize, it just isn’t good. Then they ask you, what do you […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X