It is one thing to understand what love language is, it is another thing to try to pass off something else as a love language. To whom it may concern (side eyes Nigerian women), this post should be a wake up call for you to actually sit down and discover your love language.
Stop doing these annoying things and calling them love language.
I don’t get this sha. Why bite your partner to show that you love them? If you are practising cannibalism, just say so. Don’t use love language as an excuse to cover your bad habits, you little vampire.
2. Eating from your plate of food when theirs is there.
We both ordered rice and beans, so what is your spoon doing inside my plate, please? Remove it dear. That’s not a love language, let me eat and be satisfied, don’t shorten my ration.
3. Stealing hoodies.
Thief. It’s why a relationship will end and her wardrobe will be full of hoodies. Drop that hoodie, please. We can see each other’s nakedness, but hoodie is where I draw the line.
4. Stealing t-shirts.
Listen and listen good, if any Nigerian woman steals your t-shirt, please steal her blouse too. In this house, we believe in gender equality.
5. “Big Head”, “Goat”, and other non-romantic words.
If you want to insult your partner, insult them with your full chest. Which one is “Big Head” and “Goat” when you know that his head is actually big and that he is a stubborn goat? Why are you using your partner’s personal flaws as a term of endearment?
6. Wanting to be cuddled all night long.
Do you not fear body pain, this woman? You want your partner to wake up looking sleep-deprived and in search of Panadol because they held you all night long. Haba, fear God nau.
7. Disturbing your sleep.
Please and please. If the person you are dating is asleep, LET THEM SLEEP! They did not send you to be a wicked person. Yes, there is no rest for the wicked, but there is no part that says the partner of the wicked should not rest. Let’s know what we are doing, please.
8. Flooding you with fifty-seven pictures of them wearing the same outfit.
“Have you seen a fine girl today?” Yes, I have. Fifty-seven photos of you wearing the same outfit will not change that. You want to hear the truth? Many men just gas you up without actually downloading the photos. Let fine girl use up her phone’s storage space, please.
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