If you have a crush who has been proving stubborn while you waste away with affection, we have come up with key tips to make them notice you. Heed our advice and get married in three months.

1. Like ALL their scoial media posts from 20-whatever till date.

How else will you grab their attention?

2. When you see them coming towards you, faint in their path. Or fall inside gutter.

In other words, do something so desperate drastic romantic that they will rush to come save you and press you to their perfumed chest in a warm embrace.

3. Anytime they post, repeat this comment: “Yes, my husband/wife. You’re making sense. This is why I love you”

Feel free to spice it up with things like “the owner of the money on my head”; “the one in whose presence I am assailed by orgasms”, etc etc.

4. Cook for them and take it to their house.

HOME KING Insulated Stainless Steel Food Flask price from jumia in ...

If they reject it, cry and refuse to leave until they take at least one spoon. If you lace it with jazz beforehand, it’s your lucky day.

5. Send them a pair of your cum-stained underwear.

Something to help them remember you.

6. Find where they keep their key, make a spare and let yourself into their house.

Then strip naked, so when they enter they are faced with your glorious nakedness. Ouu.

7. Sign up with a bulk SMS platform and send them a message every 30 minutes.

The game is the game, my love. Play it or be played.

If everything else fails, take their photo to a babalawo. Their strong head will comport ASAP.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.