If your friend has these TV habits, they’re probably a cultist. This goes without saying, but you need to run for dear life.
1. When you start a show together, they leave you behind without waiting for you to catch up
Deep down, they think you are too much baggage and about how they can take you out, so they can move at their own pace. Don’t wait for that to happen. Run!
2. They cancel plans with you so they can binge-watch shows
A friend who cancels plans with you to sit in front of a TV doesn’t rate you and can murder you if they think you’re an inconvenience. Don’t wait for that to happen.
3. On the rare occasion you watch something together, they comment on every scene
This is a test. They want to see your reaction and see if it’s enough justification to carry out the plan they have set in motion for you. Don’t fall for it. In fact, run before you fall into that trap.
4. They turn their subtitles off. All. The. Time.
This one is easy. Research has shown that people who do this also exhibit behavioural patterns that have been traced to people who belong in a cult. See, dear, your friend is in a cult.
5. They give you spoilers, even though you didn’t ask for them
See point 3.
6. It doesn’t matter how absorbing the show is, they are never attached to the characters
They’re dead inside, which makes sense because of “you-know-that-thing-they-are-in-but-can’t-talk-about”.
7. When the show ends, they move on to a new one immediately
Who does that to a great show? There should be a moment of mourning. But if your friend starts a new show seconds after they finish one, I’ve got news for you. YOUR LIFE MIGHT BE IN DANGER.
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