7 Things You’ll Relate To If You Have Ever Watched ‘Blue Film’ At Home

July 29, 2020

Long before smartphones became popular, sneaking to watch pornography (AKA Blue Film) is something young Nigerians have done. Sometimes, you scale through without wahala, and sometimes, the devil just decides to remember your sins that day. Allow us to take you down memory lane.

1. It begins when your parents leave the house and you are home alone.

And there is light, and because the idle mind is the devil’s workshop, you whip out that contraband CD and slot it in the DVD player. When the show starts, you reduce the volume and feel comfortable.

2. The door is locked, but your ears are active and listening for every sound.

Because if it looks like someone is coming, you need ample time to remove the CD, hide it, switch off the TV, and act like things are normal.

3. Sometimes, it’s a good experience.

NEPA favours you, you get your orgasm, clean up and still have enough time to put things back in place.

4. And sometimes, your village people can decide to play volleyball with your destiny.

This is when NEPA takes light. And you’ve not even reached climax yet. You’ve not even reached rising action.

5. You, trying to remove the CD from the DVD player with a screwdriver.

Professional 2-way Screwdriver;cheap Screwdriver;dual Use ...

With your heart beating like hell and you wondering what made you decide to even watch blue film that day.

6. Sometimes, the screwdriver will fail you.

And then you will carry the whole DVD player to the barber’s shop or any place where their generator is on. The devil works hard, but you have a PhD in greater works.

7. And sometimes, when the devil is hell bent on finishing you, nobody in your area will have the generator on.

And so you will sit in horror and wait for NEPA to bring light, so that your parents will not reach the DVD before you and see what you, their innocent child, has been up to.

Did we lie?


Have you read this? 7 Nigerian Men Reveal Why They Fake Orgasms

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

June 14, 2020

Have you ever been with someone so horrible that you swore to never date again? Yes? Well, do you know that one or more of your exes probably feels the same way about you? You never thought about that, huh? Thankfully, this quiz is here to let you know just how much of a hassle […]

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X