There’s a super long history of women faking orgasms. While women today are reclaiming their bodies and taking what rightfully belongs to them in bed, fake orgasms are still a part of the world. We decided to conduct an investigation to find out why exactly women still fake orgasms in this day and age. We asked 7 women and here’s what they said:
Oyin, 28
Uncle was giving me head and trying to locate my clitoris, but uncle wasn’t finding it. Instead he was using his teeth, which of course was painful. I was trying to move and switch position but he wasn’t getting the message. He continued for a bit, I endured it and then had to fake that I had come. Can be sore all in the name of head. Tbh wasn’t the first time he tried it. I usually make up an excuse. But then you run out of excuses and have to give in. Men have fragile egos and I just wasn’t ready for that discussion.
Emma, 25
So I can’t really say when I’ve had an orgasm. There are points during the sex that I’ll be enjoying it so much, then afterwards, that reduces — that’s talk for another day. So I fake it to save time (because sex really does take time) or to get the guy off me because I’m already tired of whatever he is doing. It might not be a function of the guy not knowing how to knack well, although sometimes it is and I just want the guy to leave me the fuck alone.
Chika, 24 – “He was attacking my clit and labia like it was chewing gum or shaki.”
I’d just started dating this guy and we were finally going to hook up and had already made a big deal about it. He had said all the wonderful and devilish things he was going to do to me and vice versa. Then the day came and he was attacking my clit and labia like it was chewing gum or shaki. He wasn’t listening to my instructions to make it a little bit pleasant and I just needed it all to stop. Started vibrating and kicking my legs around and pretended to pass out. Couldn’t even have sex afterwards ’cause I was all red and swollen. It took weeks for my vagina to heal and my right labia minora remains slightly distended till date. I avoided him like the plague for a while, but I also really liked him so I decided to give him another chance. He was a lot kinder to my vagina, but the sex still wasn’t anything to write home about, so I just waltzed out of his life.
Priye, 29 – “I imagined that he’d harm me if he discovered I wasn’t deriving great pleasure from whatever he was doing. So I faked an orgasm.”
I hooked up with someone a friend set me up with and the sex was just meh. Not terrible, not great, just positively mediocre. For some reason I started feeling really unsafe and I imagined that he’d harm me right there and then if he discovered I wasn’t deriving great pleasure from whatever he was doing. So I faked an orgasm and started crying out of nowhere. Turns out he’s a really sweet guy who was just having an off day and trauma is a bitch. We talked about it and ended up having great sex in the future.
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Funmi, 32 – “Maybe it was love that blinded me from complaining earlier that I was not having orgasms from the sex with him.”
When I first started dating my husband, he was clueless AF. He’s much older and quite attractive. I couldn’t get how a man that old and so beautiful didn’t know anything about a woman’s body. So in the beginning, when he’s inside me and doing his thing, I’d make weird, moaning sound and then come. Maybe it was love that blinded me from complaining earlier that I was not having orgasms from the sex with him. He used to be so proud of making me come so easily. After a while, when I knew that I really wanted to a build a life with him and we were quite serious with the relationship, I spoke to him about it and he learned how to make me come.
Nneka – 27 “It just didn’t feel right. So I faked an orgasm.”
After my “bisexual awakening”. I started exploring with different women and it was a great experience. I did have one bad experience with a woman. We were having sex and it just didn’t feel right. So I faked an orgasm. I really can’t place what she was doing wrong. I just was uncomfortable. As for having sex with men? The orgasm faking is not today. I’ve probably faked more orgasms than I have had. Men like doing nonsense.
Lola – 22 – “I was afraid that he would hurt me, so after like two minutes, I just faked an orgasm. “
I met this guy online, so I went to his house and we got talking. I was not planning to have sex or anything, so when he started moving towards me, I felt super weird. He started to give me head. I told him I didn’t want to do it. He didn’t listen to me. I could have run away, but it was late and I was afraid that he would hurt me, so after like two minutes, I just faked an orgasm. In retrospect, it was bad acting, but he totally believed me. I felt disgusting when I left – I got home, took a bath and blocked him everywhere. It’s still hard for me to come from head since it happened.
Have you faked an orgasm before? Tell us about it if you’re bold enough. You can also binge stories in our Sex Life series here.
