We miss going to the open market without fear, but as a wise person once said, the fear of COVID-19 is the beginning of social distancing. That aside here’s a list of the 5 most common Nigerian traders we always met. It’s like once you decide to be a Nigerian trader you attend school and choose to be one of the guys on this list. Nigerian markets are literally a catalog of many different variations of crazy.

1. The trader that sells everything a.k.a multipurpose.

This trader has a store filled with buckets, brooms, and mops but when you say you want to buy egusi they will magically provide it too. It’s like they have a shoprite inside their tiny compartment.

2. The trader that grabs you and literally drags you to their shop. 

zikoko- Nigerian traders

They call it aggressive marketing when it is actually harassment. They grab your hand when you’re passing by their shop and keep telling you they have what you want to buy even when they don’t even know what you want to buy. And some throw in lewd comments about your body when you shake them off.

3. The trader that is never in their shop when you need them to be.

zikoko- Nigerian traders

Their shops are always open but they are only around 4 out of 10 times. Its either they are at someone else’s shop gossiping or they are just not around. It’s like they totally misunderstood the concept of running a business, someone really needs to tell them that you can’t be ghosting in your business.

4. The trader that is always rude.

zikoko- Nigerian traders

They are actually in the same Whatsapp group as aggressive marketers. Their customer service is usually so rude it makes you wonder if you are not paying for the service with money. They can’t be bothered to look for change and if it just so happens that they don’t have what you want they’ll dismiss you with a venomous hiss.

5. The trader that just sits and makes commentary on everything that passes by.

Most of the comments are usually inappropriate and insulting. Not sure if they think it’s an actual marketing technique or if they are just tired of life being shitty and want to get as many passerby’s as annoyed as possible.

6. The nice trader.

zikoko- Nigerian traders

A.k.a customer. These ones are like the pearl among pigs in the market. They actually understand and most importantly (and surprisingly) uphold the concept of good customer service. Or maybe they are just nice persons. Or both. Either way, this trader treats you so well you wish you could buy more from him, and even if it so turns out he doesn’t have what you want he offers to take you to the place where you can find it. 

That’s 5 of the most common types of Nigerian traders in Nigerian markets.

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