6 Times It Sucks To Be A Man In Nigeria

April 15, 2020

I have observed a worrying pattern. Especially among my male friends. There seems to be a silent agreement to bear things quietly because the alternative is to suffer ridicule. As the lockdown progressed, I watched a lot of my friends consume copious amounts of stimulants to cope with the uncertainty ahead. Most recently, lay-offs at work.

Worried by this trend, I asked a couple of men about their struggles. Unsurprisingly, none of them wanted to talk. However, when I promised anonymity, they started to speak freely. They were more worried about being publicly judged than the weight of their problems. Sigh.

Here are some of the things they had to say:

1) When it’s time to kill a rat.

“Who told anybody that I want to automatically take charge of every situation? It just feels like I am only remembered when it’s time for dangerous situations. Yes, I am also scared of rats. Why is it something I should be ashamed of? Is it penis you use to kill rat or stick?”

2) Being blamed for everything that happens.

“It’s funny that the people that blame me for everything that happens to them expect sympathy for me. Lol. It would be easier to sympathize if the feeling was even a bit mutual. Not being told that “I will be fine” because I am a man. After all, I don’t have problems.🌝”

3) Penis jokes.

“Since there are bigger issues in the world, people expect me to act cool with all the “2 seconds” jokes. Good luck to anyone expecting me to open up about performance issues. Women say men can’t satisfy them but from past experience, many boys have learned that being vulnerable will only end in jokes. They will use it against you when they are angry. God forbid.”

4) I feel stuck.

“I hate my job and I want to quit. The only issue is that every time I tell my wife, she warns me not to try it. I must keep doing the job because it funds our lifestyle. The ultimatum from her is clear; If I leave the job, it’s as good as leaving her. I am not suicidal or anything but getting hit by a car would solve a lot of my problems.”

5) Not being able to just break down and cry.

“In the hospital where I work, after a 48-hour shift, the consultants will tell the women to go home and rest. They get to freshen up before morning rounds. As a man, you dare not make the same request. Your guys will treat you like the smell from a diabetic foot. So, I always crack a hard guy smile like I am not pained. Deep inside, I just want to breakdown and cry because what kind of life is this?”

6) Struggling with spirituality.

“I am struggling with the expectation that as a man, you are to lead your wife and family spiritually. Right now, I am not even so sure that I am a Christian. But everyone expects me to lead. I feel so lost.”

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

March 22, 2020

Nigerian mothers are the queens of responses. They know what to say to hype you up, and what to say to put you in your place. They are never caught off-guard. 1. This mother who is full of positive words. A mother we stan. 2. Sex Education 101, according to Nigerian mothers. Did she even […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

October 1, 2022

“I can’t tell you how much I miss Lagos conductors.” When Tega got into Harvard in March, she didn’t anticipate how much of her life was bout to change. Now, it’s been a week since she moved to Cambridge and she shares how it feels navigating a new city with no family or friends.

Recommended Quizzes

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X