“Love is a beautiful thing, don’t get it twisted.” – D’banj.
I don’t believe in the concept of soul mates. However, I believe that whoever you choose to make a relationship work with is the one. When you add a little bit of inshallah and God no go shame us into the mix, you may get someone that you can actually spend the rest of your life with.
Curious about how people transition from boyfriend and girlfriend to daddy wa and mummy wa, I asked some married men when they knew their wives were the one for them.
“For me, it was final year. I was the president of my departmental association and I landed in a bit of trouble. At some point, I was impeached from the position. It was one of the lowest points in my life but my girlfriend stood by me and cheered me up. She stuck by me and even lost a friend in the process. That’s when I knew that we make a great team. There and then I promised myself I’d do my best to always make her happy.”
“I have terrible allergies. I mean the type where I sneeze myself into a migraine. So, one December during harmattan she asked us to hang out. I went with my mask and tissues. After eating and gisting, she told me that she had a gift for me. In the gift bag, she put allergy medicine supply for three months, Vitamin C supply for a month, lip balm, hand lotion, nose masks.
Man, I almost cried that day. For me, it has always been the little things. I love people who show up everyday in little ways. Thoughtfulness on its own is a grand gesture.”
My wife and I are from two different tribes, so there was a lot of friction and even verbal conflict about us getting married. She’s Igbo, I’m Yoruba – for some weird reason, resistance just made the love sweeter.
But then we broke up because my family said that we couldn’t be together; my family bond is strong like that. However, we remained friends; we had no choice because we were in each other’s space.
She still loved me silly!
I haven’t dated a lot of people but her love just felt so unconditional and different from the women I had been with. Even the lady I got with after we broke up. One evening while the new person I was with after my break up was reciting her idea of a perfect man, I made up my mind that my wife (my ex at the time) was the one for me.
It was in a conversation where she was looking out for me like I was for her that I told her. We also finally overcame the tribe hurdle and it just made our love sweeter, stronger and cemented her fully as The One.
“I didn’t have any special moment. As a rule, I don’t date people I can’t marry. It’s a principle I have had since some girl showed me pepper. So, when I saw that my wife and I vibed well on the phone, and there was also the urge to constantly be around each other, I was like let’s marry. Also, she was my spec so that was a plus.
The only thing is that as life goes on and naija stress creeps into the marriage, you’ll start to forget all of that sweet time. However, that feeling is still there.”
“My story is not cute oh. She offered to type my final project for me and I knew that she was the one. I have never ever seen someone that selfless in my life. If I had a choice, I won’t have even typed my own project because I am a lazy piece of shit.”
This story was edited for clarity. Some details have been changed to protect the identity of the subject.
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