Ugh! Nigeria is hard. The cost of living is higher than ever. But the salary is still the same.
If this is you and you want to do something about it, you’ve come to the right place. Let me show you how to turn the situation around.
1. Make sure you’re the first person they see every day
To do this, you have to get to the office as early as possible. Wait by the entrance or wherever they can easily find you. If you can help it, have a cup of coffee or whatever they drink ready for them. Many people will call this slavery, but you shouldn’t care. Do this for some time and they will be forced to ask you what you want. You win!
2. Leave them anonymous love notes on their desk
If we’re being real, employers and employees have a love relationship. It may be toxic, but it’s a relationship nonetheless. Words of affirmation is the trick here. Write things you think they will love on a note and stick it to their desk.
However if you do this for a few weeks and it doesn’t work, switch things up and resort to veiled threats. Is it ideal? Probably not. But all is fair in love and war.
3. Find out where they live and pay them a visit
If the office is not giving you what you want, you might want to take it home. Now, don’t, for any reason, go into their house. That will be crossing a very clear line. Just wait outside until they emerge. When they do, don’t engage them. Just smile and wave. Then run away.
4. Mention that you’re being headhunted in a conversation
See, you have to be smart about this. Cook up a tale about how an imaginary employer is on your case, and how much they’re willing to pay you if you jump ship. Don’t say an exact figure— it’s a little on the nose. Just give them a range, so they know what your expectations are. To pull this off, you might need to practice in front of your mirror until you master the script and make it hella natural.
If your lie doesn’t sound believable, kiss your raise goodbye, and possibly your job too. But if you pull it off, it’s worth all the risk.
5. Don’t go to work for a few days
If you try everything and it doesn’t work, turn it into an all-out war. God will understand. Skip work for a few days and let them see what they will miss if you leave the team. Boom! Problem solved.
P.S: I’m obligated to tell you that if you give in to this violence, you will probably lose. But at least, posterity will have evidence that you tried to take what you thought was yours. Shalom!
Help Zikoko keep making the content you love
More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.
Thank you for your support.
We are also cool with Crypto.