So, this self-isolation something is real. And we must learn to adjust our life to fit this new reality. It is all for the greater good, innit? That’s why we think these business ideas will help you maintain your cash flow in this period.

NB: Take our advice at your own risk, dears.

1. Set up a cooking channel on Youtube.

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Make videos of you cooking things that the average Nigerian does not eat. Maybe basmati beans with a sprig of dog breasts boiled with garlic and nutmeg. Oh wait. Some Nigerians eat dogs, don’t they?

2. Offer to sing lullabies for people’s husbands on WhatsApp.

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Men are such big babies, aren’t they?

3. Or set up a Twitter account and slay in imaginative make-up.

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Sooner or later, Jack will find you and hire you.

4. Why not offer to ghost write Buhari’s memoir?

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A man who is for everybody and also for nobody. You’ll have so much fun (and cash) doing this while you self-isolate.

5. If everything else fails, create an OnlyFans account and be an online stripper.

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Makate must sell.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.