If you have experience getting your heartbroken, you can tell when it’s about to happen. But if you don’t, learn these lines very well because once you hear them, shit it about to hit the fan.
1. So, remember that my ex…
If they use this line, just start crying. That same ex that broke their heart and you had to be there for them is who they’re remembering now. Just pack and go.
2. I think we need to talk
If your partner tells you this, just get ready to start composing a Twitter thread for the. You already know what the “talk” is.
3. It’s not you, it’s me
This one is borderline gaslighting because everyone already knows that this line is the most used excuse for breaking up with someone. If they use this line for you, fight them.
4. What would you do if we broke up?
You have the chance to redeem your dignity here. Just say something aloof like “Meh, I’ll be fine. I’ll move on. You?” Because if you say something emotionally charged like “Oh I would kill myself”, their group chat would be in flames with mockery of you that night.
5. I don’t want to hold you back
Hello!!! Who said anything about you holding me back. Hold me back. Keep me, I’m your palliative.
6. I’ve been thinking a lot and…
Nobody sent you message to think. Please I beg you, don’t think. Just forget everything you’re thinking about and let’s go and watch a movie. Don’t utter any other word, please.
7. I’m on a journey to self discovery
Wahala for who no wan discover themselves o.
8. I know you’re going to hate me for this
“Hey Siri, play Marvins Room by Drake”
9. I’m just not ready to settle down.
I will wait for you. Please. I WILL WAIT FOR YOU!!!
10. Where is this going?
It is going somewhere. Please just wait and see first.
11. You’re going to make someone so happy someday.
Are you not somebody? Answer me, are you not somebody?? It is you I want to make happy. Don’t do this.
Take this quiz to know how many more heartbreaks you can take: QUIZ: How Many More Heartbreaks Can You Take?
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